K'hat'n'dlawa

Illogical Reasoning

It had been a long, long week for Amanda. She was both physically and emotionally exhausted when she returned home late on Friday night from a seminar at SF State.

Sarek had left for Vulcan almost a week ago. All that week, she had constantly wondered if he was married yet. What his new wife was like. Whether or not he could ever be content with her. She knew that it certainly was not helping her to ponder these things- but she could not stop herself from doing it.

She had been especially moody this last week- and most of the time, she couldn't explain her sudden anger, or her bouts of melancholy, which seemed to occur randomly and without provocation. She was just...mentally exhausted. She missed Sarek, and it was tearing her up from the inside.

She needed to get her mind off of him. Thinking about him every day was only shoving her deeper down into despair. Yet, how could she take her mind off him, when she worked where he worked? Every time she walked by his office, it brought forth memories, and along with them- fresh heartbreak. Soon, he would be back to work there again- as a married man.

But she could handle it. She would have to. She wasn't going to quit her job just because a workplace romance got in the way. That was not professional. And...well, she still needed the credits. There was still another four months left to go before her graduation- and there was no telling how long it would take her to find a teaching position.

The last week had driven her into the company of others. Usually, she was too absorbed in her studies or in her work at the Embassy to pay much attention to her social life- but with the glaring absence of Sarek, she had realized again how lonely it could get. She joined her college acquaintances for lunch, and even went to a party the previous Saturday night, although she had not really had much fun. She and Sarah had met up more than once; they had gone together to pick out Amanda's new comm unit. They had dinner together. They talked and laughed, like sisters are supposed to do. But she did not tell Sarah about Sarek, although she may have guessed at the truth. She was grateful when her sister said nothing about it. After all, she was meeting with her for company- not for pity.

And as for the media...they had noticed Sarek's absence. Rumors were circulating that they had broken up. New articles cropped up everywhere that were along the lines of "I told you so". Amanda was disgusted by all of it. She wished it would end soon. It would have been bearable if it hadn't all been painfully true.

With a deep sigh of both exhaustion and relief to be home, Amanda kicked off her shoes and set the PADD she had brought with her for notes on the coffee table. She would go through those later- right now, all she wanted to do was put on her nightclothes and go to bed.

Yawning, she took out the clip that held her hair up off her neck, and tousled it so it fell around her shoulders before heading for the bedroom to begin undressing.

No sooner had she reached the doorway than the buzzer on her front door broke the relative silence of her apartment.

Her first reaction was nervousness. It was nearly midnight. Not even Sarah would come over unannounced this late. Suppose someone had seen her enter her apartment, alone...?

Her hands trembled slightly as she went to the door. "Who is it?" she called softly.

"It is I." came a familiar voice. She froze. It couldn't be! She slid back the locks, her heart pounding against her breastbone. Maybe some part of her thought it was a cruel joke.

"Sarek?" she asked incredulously when she saw him standing before her. Swiftly, he entered her apartment and closed the door. She watched in shock as he turned back to her. "What-?"

He did not allow her to finish her question. He reached out to her, catching her around the waist and pulling her against his chest. His lips- so hot, and far more passionate than they had ever been before- were against hers. She gasped in surprise, but wrapped her arms around him, holding on tightly. His lips moved against hers heatedly, and through the skin contact she felt...intense relief, as well as desire and that unnameable emotion that they both shared.