K'hat'n'dlawa

Snapped

He had known as soon as her cycle was late. He was observant after all- it was in his nature to pay attention to details. He'd thought she would know too, and tell him in her own time. He had not counted on her not knowing- and him having to tell her. Especially not under these circumstances...

After he contacted T'Ren he sat in silent contemplation in his study- his heart heavy. After everything that had happened- their struggle to be together, Pon Farr, the assassination attempt- it had been a sign of hope, of good things to come. A promise of a peaceful future. A future they deserved.

But now...it was too late. He felt his hope receding to the black depths from which it had come. He could not dwell on himself- he would have time to ponder later. Right now he was needed elsewhere.

Knowing she should not be alone he moved quickly, out of the study and back up the stairs. His long strides carried him down the hall and back to the bedchamber, and back to Amanda.

She had not moved from her spot on the bed. She was still curled up and he could see that she was trembling. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his weight alerting her to his presence. She turned to face him, her eyes bright with unshed tears, and he could feel her hurt mingling with his as the knowledge of what was happening to her began to sink in. For the first time in his life, Sarek wanted desperately to cry.

"Are you sure? I mean- maybe all the stress just made it late..." He could hear the panic, the fear and false hope all mingled in her voice as it faded. She did not even finish her own sentence. She knew the truth now as well as he did. "Why didn't you bring it to my attention sooner?" she asked sadly. "I've been such a mess..."

"I thought you should find out for yourself," he said softly, stroking the side of her face. "It was a mistake on my part."

"I hope it's not too late," she said, leaning forward so her sheet of hair obscured her face from him. He could feel her desperation as keenly as his own as she voiced aloud the sentiment of his heart. "Please, oh please God, don't let it be too late." It was too much for her to absorb all at once and Sarek felt her dam burst as she buried her face in his lap. He could feel the moisture of her tears. He could only hold her as her hands tightened around the cloth of his robes and her body began to shake.

He was unsure of what to do. He knew she was speaking to herself more than to him- but her emotional pain hurt him as much as it did her. He did not want it to be too late, either. But his logical mind recognized a truth that his illogical heart prayed was a lie. His heart insisted that she was fine. That they were fine...that it was fine...

They sat in silence until T'Ren arrived with a scanner in one hand and medical bag in the other.

"Please stay," Amanda said softly when Sarek stood to leave. He hesitated, before moving over to the divan to give T'Ren more room.

The Vulcan xenophysician turned the medical tricorder on, running it over Amanda's abdomen. As she did so, Sarek's eyes met those of his wife. She was scared- and they both hoped he was wrong. He would gladly admit his error if he was.

"You are four weeks and two days along," T'Ren said and Sarek quickly calculated. That would place the conception during the day before his departure for Earth. That was not surprising to him. "However, you are now miscarrying," she added, breaking the tense silence. Amanda's breath left her forcefully and Sarek stiffened.

"I would appreciate a modicum of sensitivity, T'Ren. She is human- you cannot expect her to be comfortable with blunt facts," he said coldly. He himself was disturbed by the emotionless diagnosis- even if it was illogical to be so.

"How would you have preferred me to tell her, Sarek? I am only speaking the truth. She is miscarrying. There is no way to deliver that information to accommodate human emotionalism."