My Thoughts In Poetry

Memories Of You

I'm screaming, shaking, barely breathing. My tears come out flooding, my eyes look bloodshot.

Your voice, where is it? Why can't I hear it?

Panic floods me, my breathing becomes even more shallow, it feels as though my windpipe has closed in on itself.

You're talking to me! I can see your lips moving, I can picture the words you're saying, why can't I hear you? Where is your voice?

You're smiling, laughing, but I can't hear your voice, can't hear that mesmerizing laugh.

You're disappearing! You're fading away! Why? What's happening? Why are you so calm?

I'm screaming louder, reaching out for you but you're moving away.

Stop moving away from me! I need you! Don't leave me!

My heart races faster, my breathing and crying are uncontrollable.

Your voice comes back, three words leave your lips, "I love you."

It isn't enough. Why isn't it enough? Why do I feel like you're saying goodbye? You told me you'd never say goodbye. Why are you saying those words like that? Why are you saying it like you're leaving? Why are you leaving?

I'm screaming your name, shaking violently, my tears are staining my face but are the least of my worries.

Your voice disappeared after those words, but now has returned to say, "I promise."

What do you promise? Tell me!

I step forward but you are too far, I feel as though a weight is on my shoulders, my knees wobble shakily and I lose balance, falling to my knees and in an excruciating pain. I ignore it, it doesn't matter, all that matters is that your disappearing as I think.

When I can only see your eyes, the eyes that held my heart captive from the very beginning, my sobbing cries stop, my breath returns to my body, I'm no longer shaking. I stare into those eyes, the words you'd said echoing in my mind, become clearer than when you'd originally said them.

You weren't saying goodbye, you were saying your infamous "see you later."

You were promising me that you'd be with me again, that you wouldn't disappear completely, that you'd be alive in my mind, in my heart, in me. You were promising me tomorrow as long as I didn't give up.

My body shakes slightly as I realize what I'm about to say, what I'm about to do. I'm coming to terms with what you said, I'm accepting it.

"I love you." I say, looking into those mesmerizing eyes that I'd fallen for so long ago. Your eyes look happy, but tears fall freely down my cheeks, slipping into the corners of my mouth.

Memories of you overwhelm me, your smile, your laugh, your voice, our messages, our jokes. Your teasing ways that made me blush with frustration, how I giggled and you listened, how you laughed full-heartedly and my heart constricted against my chest. Your stories, my dreams. Your compliments, my encouragement.

I watch as your eyes fade as the rest of your body had, knowing I'll miss you desperately, but knowing all the same, that you'll be back.

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Kind of a bitter sweet ending, right? Did you like it?

Who actually reads these author's notes?

I don't know if you've read my message board but if you haven't then you don't know about my plan to start a new poetry book. This book has been very weird lately, not saving poems properly, when I try to open it the app closes, sometimes it acts as though every poem is gone. Can you imagine the mini panic attacks I've been having over it? So, I decided to start a new book, a continuation of this one. The title has been decided, and after seeing the cover for it, there's no changing it. "Poetry From The Heart." How's that sound?

I attached a picture of the cover on this poem, for your viewing pleasure. Maybe you'll see why I love the title so much.

With that being said,

I hope you enjoyed the poem, I hope you understood it, have a nice day.

Rosa Vazquez.