ten. it's all in my head but it's real

69 8 6
                                    

i wonder
what that little cloud
might be doing
in her lung.

might it be lily white as scar tissue
or raspberry pink of the new wound;
might it wait quiet as a mouse
or sweep through the alveoli like a black death --

now a new face and i
talked on the balcony
with sad cigarettes over tears
of dead mothers; "i still think
she'll come back one day, she's not really dead."

and i couldn't believe it either:
laid down in the backseat of the car
wishing it were me instead.

-- and i try not to pick my wounds, try not to think of when i sat cross-legged, singing the body electric, to you, of your deafness, the armies of those i love dropping like flies, it was in the clicking of my joints, though you would not hear it, it was curiously in the disjoint of my ring finger each morning, though you could not see it, it was just me in the garden, poppy and i just poppets leaning on the sound of an engine in the driveway, it was seething in the white lines of my body's limbs, of lines of crystal snow and droplets on the end of a key, it was in the blood running from my knuckles in the art room, i tried to sing for you but you would not hear me --

-- and i try not to pick my wounds, try not to think of when i sat cross-legged, singing the body electric, to you, of your deafness, the armies of those i love dropping like flies, it was in the clicking of my joints, though you would not hear it...

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

pierre auguste renoir's luncheon of the boating party (1880-81). referenced in jean-pierre jeunet's le fabuleux destin d'amelie poulain.

(02/11/2017)

Have you seen the Lost Boys?Where stories live. Discover now