"Are you okay? Do I need to go with you?" My best friend, Nicki asked for the trillionth time. I applied the lashes to my eye as we talked through the phone.
Today was the Fourth of July and my family was having a huge gathering. Everyone was invited, of course so I was pretty nervous. I've been away for three years and now I'll be showing up with a child. I can already feel the weird stares being thrown at me.
"I think I'll be okay. You and Nas are going to come by though, right?"
"Yeah, after we leave my family's little cookout. I know it won't last as long as yours though. Your family gonna have the block hot."
I chuckled because it was true. My mom and her sisters could throw down in the kitchen. They cooked for everyone and even had their own food truck now. That's how amazing they were. Everyone loved coming over to my mama's house to grab a plate for free and just have a good time. She was everyone's mama.
"Okay, cool."
Nicki sighed, "Whatever happens, you learn to keep your cool Bey. You have Braxton now. He doesn't need to see you acting a fool. Lead by example."
I nodded my head, "Agreed. Thanks babe. I'll see you later."
We ended our call and I continued doing my makeup. Thankfully, Braxton was sleep so I had enough time to get dressed and not be in a rush.
While I applied my Fenty highlight, I couldn't help but to think about yesterday and all that happened. I still couldn't believe Jay would put his hands on me like that. He really did show me his true colors and even though he was upset, that still didn't give him the right.
Jay swore up and down that Corey wasn't his son but soon as the DNA test results comes back, he's the father. I felt embarrassed and hurt. I went through hell for this man and was going to change my entire life around for him, only to be lied to and played like a fool. I know I shouldn't have kept Braxton away from his father, but at that time I was so upset with him, Alexis, and myself. I just wanted to keep my son to myself and away from him.
I didn't want to keep Braxton a secret. It just happened. It wasn't anyone's business but my own and I only told the people close to me which was my parents and Nicki. I found out I was pregnant when I was going on four months.
When I found out the DNA results, I cut him off... and I didn't just cut him off without him giving his explanation. I actually talked about this with him and everything he said wasn't adding up. At first he was saying that he knew for sure that he wrapped it up, but when the positive DNA test came back, all of a sudden he wasn't so sure if he wore a condom or not. And for that, I left him alone. I didn't expect four months later to find out that I was pregnant with his child.
I was happy when I found out. I always wanted to have a baby and it was finally happening. I wasn't even on good terms or speaking terms with Jay so I wasn't going to tell him shit. I had no problem raising my baby on my own. There's plenty of women that does so.
But Braxton has really been my peace in all of this. He kept me up when I was at my lowest so for that, I don't regret anything. Everything happens for a reason and I know he was put in my life for a reason.
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