Saturday, July 11, 2020
Houston, TXI deeply sighed and fidgeted with my fingers as I held my cell phone to my ear. Nicki was on the other line screaming and laughing like a mad woman. She thought that Jay letting me stay was the 'cutest thing' but I didn't think so.
It's nearly 2 AM and we were both in separate rooms. Braxton was sleeping peacefully under me so I'll have to put him in his own bed soon. Jay was in his room, probably sleeping. He was gone for quite a long time. I was curious as to where he went. Probably to see another woman, at least I hope not.
"Him offering his home to you is a big step," Nicki said, "You know what that is? Growth." She said mimicking the woman from the hit show, Insecure.
"No it's not. Braxton wanted me to stay so I stayed. Jay and I still argue and curse each other out like kids. There's no type of growth. Plus, he was gone for a very long time. Whoever the woman is surely has his attention." I mumbled the last part to myself but Nicki still heard me.
She let out a stiff chuckle, "Girl don't worry about that. You're the mother of his son. You guys have history. Nothing or no one will ever beat that. Put it like this, he's stuck with you for eighteen years. One day, he's going to stop putting up this front and want you back."
"And then it'll be too late."
"And you really think you're going to move on? Come on Bey. I'm not dumb. Y'all both acting tough right now. Jay wants you more than you think, but he's a guy. They don't deal with hurt and pain well. It's just like them getting sick. Guys will think they are dying when they actually only have a common cold."
I nodded my head. That was definitely true. Guys are so dramatic when it comes to their health and being sick.
"Whatever," I said putting the phone in between my ear and shoulder as I picked up a sleeping Braxton, "I'm about to go to bed though. I'll see you later."
"Okay, love you. Goodnight."
"I love you too." I said before finally ending the call. I put my phone on the dresser next to the bed and quietly walked out of the room with Braxton snoring on my shoulder. He was so tired. Yesterday wasn't a good day for him at all. He was cranky the entire day which leads me to think that my baby may be getting sick. The difference in weather probably getting to him. It was much cooler in DC than it was here in Houston.
I laid him down in his own bed and watched him move around a little until he finally went back to his deep slumber.
I was pretty thirsty so I quietly walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Opening the refrigerator, all I saw was beer and milk.
"Niggas.." I mumbled to myself as I grabbed the milk and a glass to put it in. In the middle of pouring, the light turned on scaring the fuck out of me. I spilled a little bit of milk but not too much.