July 4, 2020
Houston, TX
Frankie Beverly & Maze Before I Let Go blasted throughout the backyard of my parents' home as everyone scattered around doing their little two steps with some sort of drink in their hand. It was a beautiful sight to see everyone in sync doing the same dance as the song played.
The backyard was covered with people. I couldn't even make this up, the entire neighborhood was here. It made me realize how much everyone valued, respected, and loved my family, but we couldn't even love one another.
"Are you dancing baby?" I asked my son as he bopped up and down in my father's lap. I had to record him because that moment was so cute. With my mixed alcoholic beverage in my hand, I walked over towards my girls Nicki, Kelly, and Tammy. They were sitting down swaying side to side as well.
The DJ switched it to The Gap Band Outstanding and that really made me want to bust out a couple of moves. My mom woke me and my siblings up early on Saturday mornings to clean with The Gap Band playing and that only made me love this song so much more than she did. She loves herself some Charlie Wilson.
"Beyoncé, I'm so jealous." Kelly said looking at me.
I frowned and did a stiff chuckle, "Why?"
"You had a baby and your waist is still snatched."
She shouldn't have told me that because I did a little spin and posed. I worked hard as hell for this shape. After I had Braxton, I wasted no time getting in the gym. I worked out three days a week for at least an hour. I must say, it did pay off.
I took the seat in between Nicki and Tammy and smiled, "Thanks Kelly, and thank y'all for coming. I really do appreciate it."
"Girl you knew we were gonna pop up. When do we not?" Tammy said jokingly.
It was going on 7 PM now and I was getting hungry again. I know Braxton might've been hungry as well so I went over to my father and politely asked for my baby back. Walking into the kitchen with Braxton on my hip, I fixed myself a plate with enough on it for him to eat off of.
"What kind of juice you want baby?" I asked him as we eyed the plenty juice packs that I'm pretty sure one of my aunts had purchased. He had pointed to the Red Kool-Aid but I know Britany ass had put way too much sugar in it as she usually would. I let him get some anyway.
We walked back outside through the side door and I paused in my tracks when I saw Nas. Nicki had told me earlier that him and Jay were at the Racetrack, but that was much earlier. I should've known he would stop by since it's been awhile.
Thankfully, I didn't see Jay. I honestly didn't want to see him so I didn't even try to scan the crowd for him. I walked back towards my girls and sat down in my seat.
"Hey Bey, and hey little man." Nas said looking down at Braxton. I looked down at him as well to see him chewing on the pull pork he had picked up from my plate.
"Are you gonna say hi to Uncle Nas?" I asked as I rubbed my hand through his curls. He looked at Nas and gave him a head nod that made all of us laugh.
Nas chuckled, "Yo, he's like a mini Jay, I swear. Act just like him."
I didn't know how to react when Nas said that. It's like I was in complete shock every time Jay's name was brought up. I had so many mixed emotions about him and our nonexistent relationship.
"Where is he anyway?" Nicki asked. Nas shrugged his shoulders and shot his eyes at me. I made sure I looked away and tended to feeding my baby as they continued their conversation. I didn't want it to seem like I was listening in even though I was.
