207 Days.

one.

October 1.

The sun peaks through my window and litters it's light across the empty sheets next to me. I sigh as I look at the clock. it's far to early to be getting out of bed, but the shops will be opening. Which means I can finally get you off my mind. possibly.

I didn't sleep a wink last night, yet again, so I drag myself to the shower hoping it will do it's job to wake me up.

It does for the most part. I don't bother to do anything with my hair or even look in the mirror before I'm walking out the front door. I pick up my wallet from the small table before exiting and see the picture of you and I at the bonfire where we met.

Thinking back on it should have brought happier memories but the past also came with the present. Which in the case, you weren't apart of.

I stroll down the streets of the city watching the sun rise quickly. As if it can't wait to see all the beautiful people coming out and enjoying life. I remember how quickly you would rise in the morning, like you couldn't wait to get on with the day. You were such a morning person, unlike me.

Maybe I should have been as excited as you in the morning. Maybe I should have seen the world with the many colors that you did. Maybe I wouldn't be like this now, if I could've changed then..

Rounding the corner I realize just where my feet had taken me. Johnny's.

The bell above the door rings as I walk in. The usual waitress is there and gives me a small smile. "Usual today, love?" she asks and I simply nod. She hands me your coffee order. 1 cream. 3 sugar. I take the drink, give my tip, and am out the door.

I've gotten use to your coffee. It is one of the only ways I can be close to you now. It's an acquired taste, especially for someone who was more of a tea drinker, but I like the way it reminds me of you.

I walk aimlessly around town until I come to the park and find a bench to sit at. It's right next to the river and I can see the kids at the playground on the other side. I hum in peace until I look over and find my side bare.

Remember how you use to love watching the kids play? How you always said you wanted some of your own one day? I never wanted that, until I met you. You're the only person I would even want to raise children with in this world.

I watch them until they have all gone home, and soon I realize I am alone again, and the sun is even setting.

Deciding it's time for me to go home as well I stand and stretch before turning towards the direction of the apartment.

On the way, my phone buzzes in my pocket and my heart skips a beat. I hope it's you, but I know deep down it's not.

"How are you feeling LouBear? -mum xx"

I disregard the text message. Maybe I'll reply later on when I can't sleep.

When I finally arrive back home, I see the sun has yet to fully set. I watch it from the small balcony where we use to sit at night, and I think.

It's funny how something as simple as the sun can have so much feeling. It races to see the world every morning but takes it's precious time to set, like it doesn't want to miss anything at all. Yet it loves the moon so much it will leave just to make it happy for those few hours..

Is that why you left? Did you think it would make me happy? That if I had my own time, alone, I would be better?

After three hours of watching the moon and a few tears later I crawl back into bed wrapped in your old t-shirt. I don't do that much, just on nights like this. I know I won't sleep again but I try to get as comfortable as possible. However I don't touch your pillows, because I know how picky you are about that.

...

I haven't slept in a few days. My mother thinks I've been drinking too much coffee but I think maybe it's just that I really really miss rolling over in bed and finding myself pressed up against you.