207 Days.

The Note. The End.

March 1.

Harry,

It's been 207 days since you left and I'm still a fucking mess...

I'm sorry. I just couldn't take missing you anymore. I haven't stopped crying since yesterday. Why can't I stop crying? I wish you could come back to me. Instead, I'll just come to you.

I know how you feel now. That day seemed like ages ago, when I found you, I mean.

I don't think I will ever un-see that color red. Who knows how long you actually felt this way. I'm sorry, love. I should have know!

Looking back I see it. The pain in your eyes. The hurt in your smile. The way you held yourself, always slouchy, which wasn't you.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!

**

There's a lot of blood Haz. I didn't want it to be this messy. I remember them cleaning your blood up. It tore me apart. Quite literally.

Who will have to clean this up?

**

I've found myself wondering who would find me.. I had to stop thinking though because it was just making my head spin faster.

At least I know it won't be you.

**

Part of me wishes one last car would have come and ended it for me earlier. It would have looked like an accident, you know?

This won't.

Now they'll know, a fraction at least, of what misery I felt.

**

I'm getting dizzy now Harry.

I took some pills aswell. Hoping that they would speed up the process.

Looks like that's working.

**

I'm sorry if you can't read my writing. I'm feeling really lost. I want it to stop.

Make it stop, please!

**

The pain is going away now. I can't feel it anymore.

Any of it..

I can't wait to see you again. I swear I'll get it right this time. I won't hurt you.

Never again.

I love you.

& I'll see you soon H.

Always~

Lou x