Lexie is not a warrior. In fact, Lexie is a painter. Her hands are always covered in paint. Never coming off. Always there. For Lexie, painting is an escape. An escape from her pain. She paints to avoid the darkness that is in her soul. She paints t...
She crawled within his outstretched arms, and just as the heaviness leaked away and his arms came to a tight closing, she whispered from beneath his neck; "I do not feel beautiful much, but when I do, it is always here, right here: painted in your arms
~Christopher P.
***
"I think...you need to talk to your mate."
Alpha Brandon looks from me to Atlas.
I still can't look at him.
Still can't look and see what face he is making.
"Lexie should just leave with us. We can protect her."
Mark rises from his seat, anger clear in his voice.
But Alpha Brandon shakes his head, "As much as we don't like it Mark, Lexie is part of the Alba Rosa pack. It's their duty to protect her now. All we can do is warn them."
"I don't care!" Mark bangs his fist on the table, "This is my sister. We are our own pack."
"Let me talk to her Mark."
Atlas's voice has me shaking as I take it in.
Blank.
Void.
I can't read anything from his voice.
Mark growls but everyone else at the table rises.
"Come on," Alpha Brandon guides him away.
I still hear Mark's threats as the door closes behind them.
Granting Atlas and I privacy.
It's just us now.
I wait for it.
Wait for the rejection.
I'm all to used to the feeling.
I hear his heavy footsteps walk up to me.
And then he falls.
Into my lap.
Sobbing.
I sit there, stunned as I take in the scene.
"Lexie," his grabs my hips, making me shake from the fire that burns at his touch, yet the ice cold fear that drives it away.
"Why Lexie."
The questions.
Why had I not fought? Why I had let him take advantage of me. Why I had not screamed, protested and yelled. Why would I let this happen.
"Why did you not tell me?"
"What?"
He raises his eyes and slowly takes my hands, "Please Lexie, I need you to talk to me. Please. Please don't shut me out."
I'm shaking again at his words.
"I'm sorry Atlas."
"You're sorry?" The disbelief in his voice is clear.
"I...I..." I have no words though.
"Lexie, why did you not tell me."
"Because who would want this?"
My voice breaks as Atlas looks up at me, understanding dawning on him.
"Who would want...." I motion down my body, "This, when they learn I've been used. That I'm...not a virgin. Who?"
"Me."
Atlas's one word has me grappling with reality.
"I didn't fight him."
"What do you mean Lexie."
I shake my head, "I didn't fight him. In the woods. On that night. I just...froze. I let him push me down. I didn't scream. I didn't yell. I just layed there and cried. But I didn't fight."
I can tell it's a hard thing for Atlas to process.
"He said he loved me. He said he wanted to show me how much he cared. He said it- and I didn't know what to do," I feel tears fall from my face.
"And then he called me Maya. That was when I wanted to get away. That was when I cried. And...And.." I take deep breaths. Deep breaths because I need to tell him.
"And then he realized I wasn't her. And he became angry. His last words to me before he tore into me, and ripped away my sanity, was...."
Atlas doesn't move as I lean in, whispering the sentence that will forever haunt my mind, "I'm going to ruin you, so that no one else will want you."
And that's when I lose it and cry.
Because by telling my story, I had to relive that night.
That night when Mark found me, naked and bleeding in the woods. To stun to even move or process what had happened.
Atlas hesitates before reaching out to me.
I don't fight his touch.
I don't fight his comfort.
Instead I bury into it, taking whatever I can from him. Before the news really sinks in and he leaves me for good.
For now I embrace the fire that spreads across me as he cradles me in his arms.
Letting me cry out my pain.
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