Minding Grace

13: No you, you like playing games

"Oh this is absolutely priceless!" he laughs, "I'd give my right nut to have seen it!"

"Seriously?" Grace huffed, "that's all you can say?"

"Yes darling!" Jonathon continued laughing, "your expression, blondie on the laptop and Harry in his underwear flying at full mast..." he trails off, "surely that would be the stuff dreams are made of? Wet dreams in particular."
"I wouldn't know," Grace replied, "I didn't really stand there and take enough notice to give him a score out of ten."

"Darling I wouldn't even have to look at him to know he's more than a perfect twenty," Jonathon said dreamily, "and he's such a glorious specimen of a man, I'd even let him top me..."

"Jonathon!" Grace gasped then laughed.

"Can you blame me? I mean, those biceps...I'd get down on my knees and pray for those babies to be wrapped around me and I don't even believe in God."

"If you're so into him why don't you..." Grace began.

"Honey," Jonathon cut her off, "you and I both know Harry's as straight as a flagpole so there's no point at me having a crack at him. You on the other hand..."

"What?" Grace replied.

"You should definitely have a crack at him," Jonathon suggested, "have a crack at his lovely crack!" he laughed.

"You're not helping me," Grace said, "how am I going to face him after this, I'm so embarrassed! Mortified more than anything!"

"Look, just apologise and move on!" Jonathon advised.

"God," Grace groaned, "move on how..?"

"Move on top of him?" Jonathon suggested.

"Oh my god Jonathon, tell me why we're friends again?" Grace snorted.

"You love my sassiness, my brutal honesty and the way I cut your hair," Jonathon said proudly, "and the way I'll always have your back, especially with that hideous family you've inherited," he adds with disdain.

"You may have a point," Grace conceded.

"Course I do!" Jonathon exclaimed, "and I'm quite sure Harold would have your back if you let him."

"Harold," Grace emphasises, "does not need to have my back!" Grace replied, slightly exasperated.

"Well let him have your arse then, or any part of you for that matter!" he hoots.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you're both young and hot," Jonathon says, "well, he's young and really hot, like I need to go and stick my head in the freezer right now hot," he swoons.

"What is your point?" Grace sighed, "that's if you even have one."

"My point is," he said, "is that the only satisfaction you get these days is in the form of a battery powered operated one."

"Jonathon," Graced groaned though she knew he was right, "I'm hanging up now."

"My point!" he yells over Grace's groaning, "is that I'm sure if you opened your legs right now that spiders would be hanging off the cobwebs you've got down there."

"Truly, I'm hanging up now," Grace said.

"Just...Grace!" Jonathon spoke.

"What?" she sighed again.

"No one would blame you, you know?" he said quietly.

Silence.

"You're thinking of him now aren't you?" Jonathon broke the ice with his cheekiness.