Kentucky Home

Chapter 9

Cash

I hate to be like that to her, but I have to stop this before it goes any further. I realize I started it, but I have bigger things to worry about than some city girl. Plus, she's going to be gone as soon as that land sells, which won't be long around here. Part of me wants to buy it so she can get the hell out of here. The faster she leaves, the faster I can forget about her.

I look over at her staring out the window and all that thinking goes out the door. No wonder I can't quit thinking about her and that kiss. It's a wonder I've kept this much reserve. I'm not some playboy. Honestly, I've hardly even dated other than one girl in high school. The four months before my parents passed that I spent in Nashville don't count. The girls only wanted me because I stood on stage with a guitar in my hand in some bar.

They didn't even know me, and frankly, neither do the girls around here. Not the real me. Hell. I don't even know the real me anymore. I'm still Cash, but some version of myself I don't recognize. This life I live is not my own. It's my dad's. In every sense of the role, I am my dad. I live in his house. I farm his land. I take care of his livestock. I run his store. I father his daughter. Nothing about this life is me.

That doesn't mean I hate it, but it's definitely not my dream come true. I would never tell Cady that. She's why I do what I do, and I wouldn't change a thing if it means giving her the life mom and dad had planned for her.

And that's exactly why I have to distance myself, or I'll do something that will screw everything up I've worked so hard for these last four years.

When we pull up to the house, it takes all I've got to get out and walk out to the field. I've got to get away and clear my head. Focus on what's important.

I hop on the tractor and head out to the far side of the property. The best way to clear my head other than playing my music is riding this old tractor. Might as well kill two birds with one stone and get this field bush hogged.

After spending a good three hours in the field, I've managed to clear about 20 acres. Now all that's left is rolling hay, but it's almost time for Cady to get off the bus. She only goes twice a week to the school since it's summer. They have a summer program that keeps the kids active and doing projects. It gives me time to get some things done.

Cady is independent for her age, but she is still a kid. During the summer I take lots of time to do things with her during the day while putting in extra hours in the evenings after she goes to her room.

I park the tractor and hop down wiping the sweat from my forehead with my shirt. I kick my boots off by the door, and I pull my shirt off as soon as I step into the kitchen tossing it into the laundry basket in the laundry room which sits to the left of the kitchen.

I walk to the steps to go up and take a shower. I have my head down rubbing the back of my neck. After a long day on the tractor, my neck is killing me. When I top the stairs I smack right into the same wavy haired brunette I managed to forget for the past few hours. "Oh. Sorry. I forgot you were here." I didn't mean for it to sound like that, but it's kind of the truth.

"Oh. Right. Well, I forgot you existed. My bad." She says, sarcastically, walking into my parent's room and shutting the door.

"Damn. Somebody's in a bad mood." I mumble to myself.

"I heard that," she hollers through the door.

Jumping in the shower I stand under the warm water as the dirt and grime of the day rolls off my body. Did I do something wrong? She sure seemed like she was pissed at me? So much for not thinking about Emma. I immediately turn the water from hot to cold. It doesn't matter how nonsexual my thoughts about her are, the thought of her in general drives me crazy.