My Double Life

|| 9 || Complicated

“Josh.” Mrs Campbell finishes her sentence. There are a few wolf whistles and catcalls from Josh’s friends, and I stare down at my book, supressing my blush. It isn’t fun, you know, attracting so much attention in class at once.

“Okay class, quiet down.”

My eyes weave themselves through the class to Dianna, Josh and Ashton. Dianna is snickering because this would help her in her plan of vengeance. It’s despicable; the way she puts down other people in order to make her way to the top. Josh winks so I smile at him. Ashton is fiddling with his book, obliviously showing a lot of anger, frustration and envy. Dianna’s laugh makes me feel worthless and used. Josh’s flirty wink fills me with lust and Ashton’s envy makes me die a little inside because I know it will transform into sadness. I feel so helpless against this.

My mind is so muddled up for the rest of the day that I don’t even know what is going to happen, now that I will lessen my time with Ashton and extend my time with Josh. I have to go to Josh’s house now because of what I told him on the bus earlier. I don’t know how pairing me up with Josh will help me in hiding my secret. Now that I think about it, he could help me with getting a bad mark. I just have to act stupid. I have to skip my usual routine of removing my makeup and quickly catch the bus with Josh. As I’m running down the hallway, I see Ashton pacing back and forth the entrance, his cold eyes staring gloomily down at the ground. Hesitating, I stop and stare. My lungs filling up with fresh air and releasing it, I walk towards him, slowly.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to him.

“Don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” he replies with a dark expression on his face.

“I’ll see you later.” I plant a kiss on his cheek and his eyes instantly light up.

“Yeah, bye.” It is still a sepulchral tone, even with the light drawing a vestige within his eyes.

I keep jogging out of the hallway into other one. Just this one and there’s the bus. First, my locker. I put in the combination and take out all my books then place them in my bag. I slam my locker door close and spin my heels to the side. Someone pushes me into my locker, with one of his hands holding my face up. It’s Josh with a seductive look in his eyes. I feel his body push against mine, holding me firmly against the locker. He forces his lips against mine with such impact that it feels wrong not to kiss back. Our mouths open and his head tilts more to the right. His hand trails down my cheek slowly down to my neck. The other hand, which was formerly on my leg, is now moving upwards my body. He starts unbuttoning my shirt. I drop my school bag on the ground to free my hands. I place them on his chest and push him away gently, not wanting anything to get too far.

“The bus,” I say quietly and pick up my bag.

“Come on, Mist.” He begs. “Just one more minute.”

“You don’t have an excuse this time.” I start walking.

“I do.”

“And what is that?”

“You’re beautiful,” he says. I saunter up to him and lay my fingers on his shoulders. I open my eyes into his and lean towards his lips, letting them touch lightly.

“Come on, let’s go!” I grab his hand and start running. We get to the bus on time after Josh picks up his skateboard and bag.

The students on the bus kept staring at me for some reason. There’s a bus stop ahead and Josh stands up. He guides me out.

“We just have to walk a bit,” he says while dropping his skateboard on the footpath.