Foolhardy // vminkook

Chapter fourteen ~ desperate

Tae ran to his room trying to hold his tears. He knew he had to talk to Jimin before guilt ate him from the inside. He was really scared that he would coward out in the morning. He expected no more from himself. When he reached his room, he quickly rushed to the bathroom. Jimin was sitting on the edge of the bed looking down. He didn't seem happy but Taehyung's mind was too much of a blur to realise this.

The moment he went in the bathroom he started washing his face crazily, as if he wanted to wash away his memories. He kept telling himself the kiss was just his imagination, it had felt unreal. How could he have done such a thing? He felt disgusted by himself. He couldn't look at himself, he was thinking of breaking the mirror when he heard a knock on the door.

"Hello? Taehyung? Are you okay?"

"I- I'm not. You can come in." he said, opening the door for his boyfriend. His face was red from crying.

"What happened to you?!"

"I'm sorry Jiminie. I'm really sorry." he hugged him tightly the moment he saw him. He broke off a moment later with a pang of guilt, thinking he didn't deserve the hug. "I wasn't thinking. I just acted stupidly. Please forgive me."

"Tell me." He sounded more mad and disappointed than surprised and baffled.

"I kissed Jungkook."

"I uh- I know. I just wanted to see if you'd be honest. I saw when I came to check on you. I wondered what was taking you so long. I guess I got my answer."

"Then why didn't you stop me?!"

"I- I seriously don't know. I was so shaken and disappointed and I just felt-" Jimin sighed. He didn't want to say how he truly felt. He had felt like he was intruding for some reason. Even though he was dating Taehyung it felt oddly wrong to break them up, like he was breaking two long-lost lovers. He felt like the third wheel, the villain in a fairy tale that kept the main heroes apart. "I just felt angry. I didn't think. I just ran away." Jimin lied.

Taehyung was taken aback and felt even more guilty if that was possible. He felt like he was going to fall down. He used the sink for support.

"I don't know Jiminie-"

"Don't call me that."

"Jimin. You're right, I shouldn't." his face fell. He continued: "I only know I've ever felt more guilty in my life. I don't know what took over me. I acted out of stupidity."

"And love."

"It's more complicated than you think. I'm not going to lie. I'm not sure about anything. All I'm sure about is: I love you Jimin. I love you, you're the nicest, cutest and bravest person I've ever met. The first time I saw you laugh is still playing on my mind. I tried to hate you once, it really didn't work out... I know this is the wrong time to confess, you don't have to say it back. I seriously don't even know why you're here talking to me." Taehyung stopped for a moment. Jimin didn't move. He took that as a good sign and continued. "I'm also sure that I've never told anyone I loved them and I'm scared out of my wits. I'm scared of losing control of my feelings, and of my body. I'm scared of commitment. I'm scared of not knowing what I'm going to do next."

"Is that it? So I'm new and scary grounds and Jungkook's your escaping route?! Is that why you've been rejecting me this whole weekend? Because you were scared?"

"Well it's more complicated than that... but basically yes."

All of a sudden Jimin started laughing. Taehyung was so shocked by that, he took a step back. He didn't know what to do or say.