Complete 《《 Logan Paul Fan Fic *Discontinued*

T H I R T Y

Alexs POV

I get in the shower and change into a sweater and some boyfriend jeans. It looked like it was going to rain today. I kind of love rainy days. They make me feel cozy and comfortable. I have an excuse to cuddle up in a blanket all day.

I grab a fuzzy blanket off of my bed, and head back downstairs. Aaron and Andrew are back on the couch.

I make myself some peanut butter toast, and hot chocolate. The two tastes matched eachother really well, despite what you may think.

"Do you guys want to play Siege?" I ask, heading over to the TV to grab controllers and turn the xbox on. They agree, so I join them on the couch.

Siege was one of my favorite games at the moment. Basicly it was a five on five murder session. You try to kill off the other team and get the hostage. Or protect the hostage depending on your position.

We start playing, and I forget how hard this game was. I used to be pretty good at it, but I am crap now. We are all on the same team, but Andrew and Aaron have to revive me too many times. Our team lost because my brothers were to occupied trying to keep me alive, because I threatened them I'd beat them up if they didnt. What a good relationship we have.

I get up to go put my dishes in the dishwasher, and my phone vibrates. I take it out of my pocket and see the caller ID.

My heart immediately starts pounding. Should I answer? I rush upstairs so my brothers won't hear the conversation, and put my phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I say, unsure of myself.

"Alex," I hear Logan's quiet voice ring through my ear. I'm quiet, still processing that I was talking to Logan.

"I just wanted to know how you are doing," His voice turned low and husky. Not in a sexual way, but in a way that you knew he was serious. I could still hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"I'm, I'm okay...how are you?" My voice becomes more normal as well.

"I miss you," His voice becomes even more quiet.

"Me too," I respond.

"Alex, when I say I miss you, I mean much more than that. I mean you were my world you were my everything, and I'm to much of a f*cking idiot to realize that. When I say I miss you, I mean life has become much more dull without you, and I just can't take living without you anymore. I need to be in your presence again." My eyes water as I listen to the intense emotion in his words. Every sentence hit me like a rock. Pounding into me and making me feel like a b*tch. I should have never broke up with him.

"Logan, but I'm in Kentucky, and although I miss you like h*ll I'm not sure if I'm ready to forgive you. I would love to, but I don't want to trust to quickly," my words sting me, it's how I feel, but I feel bad for Logan.

"I've wanted to call you since the day you left," He starts after a moment of silence. "I never had the nerve. My friends finally talked me into it. I know I don't deserve you, you deserve much better. You deserve someone who will devote all time and effort into you and make you smile every day. You deserve much more than I can offer. I'm sorry," The tears start to slowly travel down my cheeks. I sit down on my bed. I don't know what to do.

It's not that I don't want Logan back or don't miss him. It's that I don't know if I'm ready to be in a romantic relationship with him again. My heart says yes, but my head says no. I don't know what I think, so how am I supposed to know what to tell him.

"How about I come back to LA and we can hang out, but I don't want to jump into anything serious right away," I blurt it out before I even think of who I will stay with or how I will get there. I just want to see Logan.

"Yeah! Yeah! Let's do it! Anything, anything to let me see you!" His voice becomes more explosive and energetic, sounding more like himself. The tears roll out of my eyes faster, due to the thought that with a simple statement, I can change his mood so quick.

That is how you know someone loves you. Truly loves you.

"Okay Logan, I have to go, but I'll keep in touch with you," I say, wipe my tears with the sleeve of my shirt.

"Okay, have a great day Alex," We say goodbye and I hang up.

I opened the text from Gavin back up and replied.

Gav: Hey thanks for coming over last night, I had a lot of fun. Sorry if I ruined the night. I got so excited to finally be with you. I'd love to know how you feel.

Me: Hey Gavin, I had a lot of fun as well, you didn't ruin the night. We should get together again soon

I decided not to say anything about how I feel towards him, because emotions are complicated and I have a small brain.

I immediately checked for flights to LA. I know I want to stay in a hotel because I didn't want to be couch surfing or living with Logan. I did some digging and found out that there was a flight at eight pm tomorrow. It was already noon. I bought a ticket. I can't wait to see Logan.

I walked into the bathroom to wash my face with some water, so the boys wouldn't notice I had just cried. I don't know why but I just hate others knowing when I cry.

My phone buzzes again.

Gav: Do you want me to swing by to pick you up for lunch?

Okay. I don't know what to say. I am starving, but when I said get together soon I didn't mean this soon. I guess it wouldn't hurt right?

I'm just worried that he still is aiming for a relationship with me. I told him I'm not up for dating right now, but if Gavin wanted something, he will do anything to get it. He is a very determined individual. In my opinion it's both a blessing and a curse.

Me: Sure, where are we headed?

Hey guys! Sorry for missing Sundays post, I completely forgot about it with all theese holidays!
Also, sorry, but I will not be posting next week, Sunday will be new years, and the third will be my birthday, not to mention going back to school, etc. Sorry guys!
Although, if I do some how find time to write a chapter, I will upload it. (I don't know when)

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, whatever you celebrate happy that!

I am curious to see what you guys answer:

What holidays to you celebrate during this time of year?

I celebrate Christmas and New years!

If you do celebrate one and get gifts, what did you get?

I got candy and a bunch of money, because no one knows what to get me. I mean even I don't! Lol.

Thanks for reading as always guys.
Truly, you will never understand how much y'all mean to me.

~Marie