Save Me | BTS ff (ongoing)

02. Collapse

My life was still the same as allways.
Besides the fact that I really enjoyed the music of BTS, nothing has changed in the past few weeks.

Although... something had changed.

I could no longer deal so well with the behavior of my family.
It maked me even more depressed I anyway was.

They filled me with self-doubt and self-hatred.
That's why I had make a decision.

I'm giving up.
I don't wanna play this game anymore.

I will go.... to heaven or hell or whatever, I don't care.

Mainly away from here.
Mainly away of this invisible cage.
Mainly away from this deep pain.

That's all I want even when I'm afraid to do that.

I will go to the pond in the park, where I was last time.
I will go drown myself in him.

Maybe I will be so peaceful like the pond back then.

I was on my way to the park.
I had said no one good bye, they care anyway not about that.
They wouldn't even notice that I'm gone.

Forever gone.

I am not a losing for them.
Maybe they are happy that they no longer must deal with a waste of life like me.

I arrived by the pond and looked at him.
He was so silent and peaceful like always.

This would it be, the last place I would see in my life.

I had started thinking about all what's happened in my short 19 years long life.

How they bullying my mom and how my parents must go to the psychiatry because of that.
How they start to do the same things to me they did to my parents.
How many times had I cried myself to sleep.

My life was a mess and I had no idea how it could turn to better.
Then I memorized of my dream that I had.
And that maked me insecure if I really do the right thing here.

What's if this mysterious guy really exists?
What's when it is true what he has said.
What if he really needs me?

I took a deep breath and cleared my thoughts.
"That's nonsense, it was just a dream!" said I to myself.

Afraid of that what I am would do now, I maked a step towards the pond.
And then another one and another one step.

"Wait Miss, don't do that!" said someone in English with a little accent.
I don't reply to him and make another little step forward in the pond.

"Please Miss, don't do that. What's with the people who cares about you?" he said in a soft and afraid voice.

"These people don't exist in my life so far!" said I with a monotone voice.
"No one cares about me, no one never ever did that!" replied I in a sad tone.

"That's not true Miss, I actually cares about you in this moment." said he.
His voice seemed to be near than before.

"You just say that, because you want to stop me!" replied I quietly.

"No, I just want to know what drove you to do something like that." said he softly.

I don't know why, but I turned around and I couldn't believe who was standing behind me.

It was one of the BTS members.
It was that guy who was dressed like a police man in the "Dope" music video.

My eyes widened, "The police man from the music video?!" said I quietly, more to myself as to him.
"You know who I am?" said he.
"No, not actually. I just have seen that music video, weeks ago." replyed I shyly.