I fell for her knowing that it isn't right. knowing that I have someone else in my life. but the way I loved her was unique. the way we loved each other was astounding and yet very temporary..
Cover by @Arcielle127
"i am confessing everything to jennie. i can't keep it all as a secret anymore. i love you and she needs to know. i am not going to let you go with taehyung because you love me too. this is the time to let everyone know about my feelings" i messaged jisoo
"meet me at Gwettens" she replied
i went there hoping that she will allow me to tell everything to jennie. when i entered, i saw her wearing the dress she wore when we first met. surprising, how i hated her at that time but still remember what she was wearing.
" jisoo you are.." she stopped me
"suga i need to tell you something important. i am going away somewhere. i can't tell you where but you need to know. i have already informed jennie and taehyung. i wanted to.." she said
"where are you going?! look jisoo, if you are doing this to run away from everything then you don't need to. jennie will understand,. you don't have to sacrifice for jennie. we can still be together. " i said
"no, suga. its not about us being together. i also have some dreams and aspirations. i have some goals. and to accomplish them, i need to be away from everyone. i don't know for how long. i am sorry but this is a selfish decision that i am taking. i need a career of my own' she said
"for how long will you be away for?"
"don't know." she replied
"jisoo, look at our fate. when i finnaly managed to have the courage to face it all, you are leaving me behind, alone."
"no, suga. you are not alone. you have jennie." she replied
"yet i am alone" i replied
all of a sudden she became angry. "do you ever know what i feel like? how alone i feel? when i see jennie holding your hand? whe i see jennie with you all the time? but i am not showing it because she is my bestfriend and i am trying to control myself. you only think about yourself suga. you only know what is better for you. when you needed someone you used jennie. when you have everything: family, girfriend, grades yet you seem ungrateful. what about me? i have a family who are not present in the house most of the time. i have you who is not mine at all. i have taehyung with whom i am lying. how does that make me feel? and yet you only see your side of the story. i just wanted to tell you that i am going away and please never break jennie's heart. she only has you. i beg you" she got up and walked out of the cafe
"jisoo wait." i followed her
"i don't know where you are going or what you are going to do but take this with you." i gave her my lucky bracelet that i always wear. she took it and looked puzzled
" you are my first true love and i will always love you. take care of yourself. you have no idea in how much pain i am right now. but whenever you need me i will be there. i will take care of jennie on your behalf and give her all the love i would've given you. i have no idea what i am going to do right now." i pulled her closer and gave her a light kiss on her forehead.
"should we finish that incomplete kiss?" i joked
"get off me." jisoo laughed and pushed me away
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"i am going to miss you suga. be nice to everyone. and yes, do remember my face. hopefully i will meet you again"
that was the last time i talked to her. one month passed and i still couldn't move on from her. i messaged her everyday but no reply. a lot of things happened. jennie gave audition to YG and got selected. you didn't wanna go at first leaving me but then she had because it would have been such a waste to let her singing talent go unnoticed. taehyung became close with me and he knew what me and jisoo had between us. appearently, jisoo told him everything before leaving. dad also left me forever. jisoo ya, i am truely alone right now. you will not say that i am selfish. maybe its all karma i am facing for all that i did to you and to jennie. i work two part-time jobs and afford a living. but then suddenly something happened. i remembered about the card that was given to me a long time ago in the streets. i was told to audition. yess i opened that card and saw BIGHIT. rapping was the only thing that could save me. i gave my audition and surprisingly they selected me. thus began a new chapter and i trained hard. it was the only thing i had to do. look at myself. i miss jisoo and write songs about her but she is nowhere to be seen.
sometimes i wonder what if she came to my house looking for me. what if she came back? did i make a mistake by joining this training? but it was too late. the last thing dad told me was "fight for your place in this world" and that's exactly what i am doing. one of the coincidence was taehyung was also in the company. he auditioned before me and got selected. he said that he got attracted to singing last year.
finaly the day came for my debut. "jennie i made it. its my debut day" i messaged her knowing that she is too busy to train to reply to me but she did
"congratulations boyfriend. i will be making my debut soon hopefully and yu will be surprised. i will look forward to your stage"
i made my debut under BTS and it has become life changing. i am not alone anymore. i have fans who think about me. i got too busy to think about jisoo or anyone. i had jobs to do.
after a few years YG announced new girlgroup. i was working on a song when taehyung came to me "buddy did you see it? jennie is debuting finally but..."
"what?" i asked while working on my song. jennie already told me that she was gonna debut. she didn't use to message me at first but now we talk pretty much often
"um.. jisoo is also in the group she is debuting. appearently jisoo was training under yg all this time. she said goodbye to us because she got selected in her audition. i saw her pic suga. she has changed a lot. she looks way better and her hair... she is a proper lady now." taehyung replied
the reality hit me. i became too concentrated on being famous that i forgot about my first love jisoo but suddenly all the feelings rushed in........
A/N: hope you guys are doing well. my exams are going on and yet i decided to update to get rid of the monotony as i have not been keeping myself away from kpop all this time. anyways my next exam is physics. wish me luck. and hopefully i will update the last episode soon. prepare to be shocked. i hope that you will not be able to predict the ending but if you do then "intellectuals think alike" xD XOXO"
