My Heart in Your Hands (Camren)

I am Just a Teenager

How those green emerald eyes glared at me... I couldn't resist my temptation to look at her with my very own eyes. We had a connection and I felt it very well but was the connection just friendship or...more? I remembered back in high school I had a crush on this guy but it was nothing like her. The way she makes me feel is indescribable but if I had to describe my feeling s towards her in one word it would be hypnotized. Yes..hypnotized because of those eyes , they could control me with whatever she desires. She takes my breathe away every time I look into them and it scares me because of how only one part of her features could affect me so extravagantly. She could break me entirely very easily...mostly my heart and that was what scared me the most about her. But I loved her and there was no way I could stop loving her in any way no matter what she does to me.

"Camila?!!" Dinah was yanking on my sleeve causing me to pop right back into the real world.
"What?" I asked thrusting my arms back to my side.
"For the last time Cabello, which dress should I wear for my date tonight?!"
"Um- the blue one!" I blurted out without having knowledge of what the dresses even looked like.
"Are u colorblind or something cuz there is no blue dress! Can u please get your mind off the clouds and help me out for once?" Dinah asked with annoyance and irritation because of how I have been acting these past few weeks.
"Yeah-uh sorry I've just not been feeling so well... You should go for the black dress."
I answered honestly with a bit of hesitation. Dinah's face softened and looked at me with concern.
"Hey Mila is something wrong? I'm here if you wanna talk about it." I felt uncomfortable because I never really talked about my emotions with people since back then in highscool I didn't have that many friends so I usually just kept everything to myself.

"I'm fine-'honestly' there's nothing wrong"
I tried to force in a fake smile but unfortunately that didn't help.
"Your obviously lying Camila so spill it." Dinah raised her eyebrow, showing curiosity in how I was feeling. Taking a deep breathe to maintain my composure I began.
"I-uh I don't really know how to begin honestly but um I've been having these feelings-"
Dinah blurted out before I could even finish my sentence"Lauren?"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn because of how embarrassed I felt about it. I looked down at the floor and heard her  begin to chuckle about it as if it wasn't a BIG DEAL AT ALL THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH ONE OF OUR BAND MEMBERS!!!
"Sweety I already know."
She gave me that dumb smirk on her face and I didn't even know how the hell she figured it out.
"How do you-"
"Camila I see how you look at her and act around her. Your clearly in love with her. So what's the problem?"
"I just.. I don't know. I really like her but I don't know if she likes me back and I bet that she is straight and-" I kept blabbering about my assumptions that I would never be able to have Lauren love me the same way as I love her.

Dinah interrupted me from my blabbering of assumptions.
"Don't assume that you can't have a chance with her. I bet that she loves you the same way as you love her. So I think that you should move your ass and talk to her about it."

She was right but how do I have the guts to go up to the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on and confess my feelings to her?

Dinah looked at the time and her eyes widened.
"Oh shit I gotta go. I don't wanna be late for my date!"
She quickly got up and ran to get her things before leaving. Before she left she blurted out

"Take my advice and talk to her!" I rolled my eyes to her suggestion but she was right. The only way things could work with Lauren and I was if we talked about our feelings and try to understand each other.

I got up from the bed and thought to myself for what I should say to her, walking back and forth in the room with frustration and anxiety. I finally managed to have the guts to go to her hotel room and talk to her. We were in a hotel because we had a concert in Boston even though we were usually in our tour bus whenever we had a concert. So oddly, this time for some reason we thought of just being in a hotel for a night to have a change since the tour bus could get annoying after a while.

I got out of the room and walked across the hallway meeting to her room that she shared with Normani. I took a few deep breathes before I hestitanely knocked on her door. After a few seconds the door opened and the first thing I saw were those green emerald eyes.

"Hey"
Lauren said having a questionable look on her face but excited at the same time.
"Hi" I replied back with a bit of anxiety and nervousness.

We were staring at each other for a few seconds that felt like hours with no movement whatsoever. Lauren finally broke the quietness.
"Why won't you come in?"
I felt very awkward and hesitantly said"Oh-yeah okay"
"Do you want a drink or something? I was just about to watch a movie on Netflix if you wanted to join or something."

My mind was still blank because of how nervous I was to confess my love for her and I am usually not so awkward around her because we got along so well.
"Yeah sure! What movie were you gonna watch?"
"I was thinking about watching Cinema de Paradiso, it's my favorite."

--
I was laying on Lauren's bed while she was getting our drinks still thinking about how the hell I would have to tell her my feelings towards her. I had so many negative thoughts running in my head which made me feel like regretting this whole situation I got myself into. What if I tell her but then she'd ignore me for the rest of my life? What if I weird her out? How would my Heart react to her decline? I was so mixed in these thoughts trying to calm myself down and remembering what Dinah had told me.

Once Lauren came over with our drinks, my mind went blank again feeling only my heart pounding heavily as if it would jump out of my body. Her smile with those smooth red lips gave me butterflies in my stomach causing myself to smile back. She's gorgeous. Even though she was wearing a huge sweater on with shorts and her hair in a bun without makeup. She was the most beautiful girl I could ever lay my eyes on.
-

A few minutes later we were sitting in her bed not minding the fact that we were cuddling together. While the movie was going, I couldn't take my eyes off her face. My Heart was beating so loud that I was afraid that she'd feel it. She then looked down at me and I tried to look back at the computer screen as fast as I could without her catching me staring at her like a complete moron. She then whispered to me in her raspy voice
"Hey."
I thought to myself Camila fucking Cabello look at what you got yourself into for staring at her like a complete idiot. I then whispered back.
"Yeah?"
She sighed causing me to get really nervous. Did I do something wrong? Ugh I shouldn't have stared? Why am I so stupid? She then spoke.
"I need to talk to you about something that's been in my mind for a while and I can't really understand...."
I looked at her trying to understand what she was talking about. She then continued.
"I've been having these weird feelings or should I say emotions that I've never felt before in my whole entire life."
I was scared but I replied. "What-what do you mean?" I stuttered.
I couldn't stop staring at her tender lips because of how badly I wanted them to collide with mine. Though, I never knew or felt a kiss before so I had no clue how it worked honestly. I'm 16 and I know that it's shocking but I've never had a kiss with anyone before. My eyes were still staring at her lips filled with lust.

After a second or two I found myself leaning towards her and she herself was leaning towards me. So many questions were popping in my mind. What the hell is happening? Is this gonna be my first kiss? With the most perfect girl I've ever laid my eyes on?? I was barely an inch apart from her that I could feel her unsteady breathing hit me, giving me goosebumps all over my body. I then broke the space we had between each other. My eyes closed and my lips were conjoined with hers. My Heart was beating so fast as if I just ran a marathon and the butterflies in my stomach grew even more stronger than ever. I kissed her passionately and she kissed me back the same way. Our kiss eventually ended and we parted away to catch our breathes. We looked at each other in shock and disbelief of what just occurred.
I never thought that this would ever happen to me... with Lauren. I always imagined my first kiss being with a guy but never with a...girl.

I then began to smile because of what we just shared together and she smiled back at me. It was an innocent teenage thing we did and I didn't feel bad at all. I was sorta relieved and happy about it. Lauren then stopped the tension between us and spoke up.
"I-I uh"
She was so shocked as well that she couldn't even bring words to her own mouth. I tried to be brave and spoke up as well.
"I like you."
I blurted out which was the only thing I could think of. Ugh I just wanted to slap myself in the face for saying that. Lauren replied back to me with a bit more of sympathy.
"I-I like you too..."

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