one shots

Leaving For Good (Letters from Lance)

(This is the song I listened to the entire time I wrote this, so give it a listen if you want)

Warnings- Language, Mentions of Injuries, Loads of Emotional Turmoil That Honestly Nobody Asked For

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"Lance?" Hunk said, his voice traveling softly through the door. "Hey, buddy. It's been five days, are you sure you're okay?"

Lance looked up from his computer to glance at the door before shaking his head, clearing his throat to speak. "I'm fine. Like I said before, I just need some space for awhile. Thanks for checking in, though."

Lance hoped Hunk couldn't tell he'd been crying, he tried to make his voice as strong as possible, but he knew it was pointless with the way Hunk sighed, his exasperation evident. Lance shrunk away from the door, wishing that Hunk would just walk away.

"Lance, please come out. We miss you, dude."

"Not today, Hunk. Maybe tomorrow."

Hunk paused, likely determining whether or not he could break the door down, before he sighed again and turned to leave. Lance waited until his footsteps faded down the hall before gently easing open the door and grabbing the tray of food that was waiting for him on the floor. Lance carried the tray back to his bed and set it next to his computer, resuming his typing as he scooped spoonfuls of goop into his mouth.

Lance knew that it annoyed the other Paladins when Lance disappeared like this, because they didn't understand. They were unaware of how long it took Lance to work up the strength to come out everyday, to face the other members of a team that he felt like he didn't belong to.

He knew every Paladin had their problems, and had their ways to deal with them, and this was Lance's. Hiding in his room helped Lance ignore all of the things he felt, because he didn't have to see the people that made him feel them.

It was simple, really.

He didn't have to feel like an extra, useless part of the team if he wasn't training with them, or trying to follow along when they talked about plans and missions and getting hopelessly confused anyway. He didn't have to feel like an inferior pilot of he wasn't flying with them, and he didn't have to feel annoying of he wasn't watching their reactions to the way he spoke and interacted with them.

Lance could just lay on his bed and feel cared for, cared about, even though he knew Hunk was getting more and more irritated about having to bring him food at every meal, and Keith was getting more and more irritated that Lance was neglecting his training every day.

None of it mattered, anyway. He would be gone just as soon as he could be.

Lance quickly scanned his computer screen, organizing everything that he had been working on for the past couple of days into folders and sections. He almost had everything he needed to be able to go, so he'd probably leave tonight.

Lance didn't really want to think about how his teammates would react when they found out he was gone, but it was all he could focus on. If he ever came back, he could only hope that they wouldn't hate him. But, maybe they should. Maybe he deserved it.

Maybe he wasn't supposed to be a part of this team after all.

Once everything was ready, Lance laid on his bed, letting the tears soak his sheets as he waited for everyone to fall asleep. Keith was normally the last to bed, besides Pidge, but Lance knew that she rarely left the lab and was incredibly loud, so she would be easy to avoid.

Once he heard Keith's door open and close across the hall, he waited, then slipped out of his own door, looking either way before trekking through the castle to the escape pod hangar.