i did not know what to write about until now. in my darkest moment i went to light a candle with a lighter that did not work, and i thought to myself maybe this is what happened. maybe we ran out of sparks to light ourselves on fire and maybe that was meant to be. maybe i needed to see the darkest of the day to create my own spark inside of me. not the spark for you- but the spark for myself. the spark i need to stay on this earth that i so dearly want to leave. the spark that makes me change my colors from dark purple into convulsing, hungry, violent crimson red. the color of my life flashing so violently that no one knows what to do with me. but i am still trapped in this cage because what if- instead of trying to solve the most complex colors in me- they give up? they say i am too much i am too vivid for their eyes to take in. so they leave. they become bored and restless- they do not think what i have is lively enough to move something in themselves that they cannot bear to find. they are scared of themselves so they do not dare tap into what i have to offer. so i become lonely. lonely for i am one of the few that is brave enough to discover themselves and stop holding back my entirety. but i have decided- - -
it is time to be free
