Secrets and Dreams

Chapter 5 - Awareness

Sicheng felt numb from shock. Not from what Taeyong just confessed, but from the overwhelming jealousy he now felt. The pain in his chest must be what being stabbed by a sharp knife felt like. It was unbearable and he didn't understand why he felt this way. He had no right to yet it was there, plain and simple.

Sicheng tried to take his hand from Taeyong's grasp but he held it tightly with both hands now, as if sensing Sicheng wanted to let go. So Sicheng kept still and tried his best not to show any emotions other than empathy. Or at least tried to make it seem like empathy. He was Taeyong's friend so he should start acting like one. He remained silent and waited.

"It happened just before she graduated. She finished school but couldn't continue with becoming a dancer because she has her baby to take care of."

Her baby...? Not our baby... Sicheng was puzzled at Taeyong's wording. Did he not claim responsibility for his mistake? Is he disowning his own child? He didn't know what to make of its meaning. And of Taeyong.

Taeyong shakily took a deep breath before he continued. "She works two jobs now at a small grocery store and a movie house. She had to work because her father kicked her out and won't support her. She's with her aunt now."

"Oh, I'm sorry to...hear that," was all Sicheng could utter before Taeyong went on with his story. "But this is not why I'm reluctant to go back to school."

"No?" Sicheng felt more was coming and he dreaded whatever it was. "So why...?"

Taeyong gave a short sarcastic laugh before he replied. "About three months ago, the older brother of the girl whom...I...got pregnant, Haejin, tried to kill me once with his bare hands. He and his friends ganged up and they... broke four of my ribs and fractured my wrist. I was in the hospital for over three weeks."

"Oh my God..." Sicheng cried out, concern and worry apparent in his face. "I'm so sorry, but are you alright? Does it still hurt? Was there any permanent damage? Have you seen to doctor again?" Sicheng couldn't help tightening his hold on Taeyong's hands which he now held in both of his. Then he realized it might be the one that got injured. Sicheng gasped.

"Oh I'm sorry, is this the..."

Taeyong smiled, eyes suddenly twinkling looking deeply into Sicheng's eyes. "Yes, but don't worry, I'm way better now."

Their eyes locked, boring into each other's soul. Seemingly trying to search answers they both needed to find. Sicheng suddenly felt his heart racing and a delicious warmth washed all over him. He wanted to open his mouth to utter words but none came to mind. He was so lost in Taeyong's mesmerizing gaze. Sicheng felt his hand move on its own accord and reached out to touch Taeyong's cheek, or was about to.

"Yongie...?"

The silky sounding voice broke the spell Taeyong and Sicheng was under and both of them looked up to see who its owner was.

"Holy fuck...oh man!"

Sicheng felt Taeyong let go of his hand as the tall and good looking fellow with an American accent laughed and approached them.

"Hey guys! Look who's here back from the dead."

"Taeyong! Oh my Gawd!" A younger handsome boy who looked to be in his late teens and with an English speaking accent, approached them. Tagging along behind him was another teenager with tanned skin and ridiculously red hair grinning from ear to ear asked "Taeyong where have you been? We didn't hear from you for... what... two, almost three months?"