Secrets and Dreams

Chapter 9 - Love's Folly

Taeyong shut the door behind him with a click and leaned against it in a daze. Why did he feel like Sicheng tried to get rid of him so suddenly? There was a strange look in his eyes that made Taeyong wonder. He looked...hurt. But why? His head was too muddled and he needed to clear his jig-saw puzzled thoughts. He headed for the stairwell and sat sullenly on the steps. Looking out into the night through the enormous window pane, his reflection hazily etched on it, he tried to mull over the events earlier.

Was he tricking himself into believing there's some deeper meaning in Sicheng's behavior? He was deeply attracted to Sicheng, as shocking as it was for him to admit, so he can't help it if he acts the way he does. But to imagine things that weren't there only made it worse. Sicheng took his wounded finger into his mouth. Taeyong closed his eyes at the sudden thought of it. Surely it was an innocent act, not intended to make him feel...something. Taeyong recalled the sensation and felt a hundred butterflies in his stomach. He remembered it too well. Too much that he thought about it the whole day, no matter how hard he tried to shake it off. So he busied himself even more and avoided Sicheng as much as he possibly could. It didn't help one bit. It was my damned finger inside his mouth. What if it were Sicheng's mouth... on his.

Taeyong groaned and nestled his head in his hands. He truly was going into the deep end. He's done being in denial. Now he's faced with the dilemma of seeing 'signs' of Sicheng feeling the same way. There's a softness in Sicheng's eyes when he looks into them. Can this be just friendship he sees or something else? He never saw his friends look at him the same way, ever. He snorted as he grabbed his hair wanting to pull at it.

Then there was that debacle of him almost kissing Sicheng. He let out another anguished groan. When Sicheng slowly lowered his eyes at his own lips he almost broke. He was so full of desire he could feel his blood rushing and heart pumping furiously. He should commend himself for the utmost degree of self-control he had and restrained himself from pouncing on his friend. But did Sicheng really look at his mouth with that heated gaze? Why the hell would he? His head was about to explode. He never signed up for this when he thought of befriending Sicheng. Though at the back of his mind he already knew even if it complicated his present situation. How would Jandi react if she found out he has fallen...in love? No! Love?!

"Ah..my Yongie is in a quandary?"

The sultry voice he knew all too well made Taeyong jerk his head up. Slightly irritated at the disruption of his dreaded realization. "Areum, what's the elevator for?"

Taeyong's elder sister smirked, tossed her long black hair and sat down beside him as she explained, "I needed the exercise. I ate two slices of carrot cake earlier. Don't ask."

"I never ask."

"See that's your problem little brother, you always keep to yourself," Areum said wryly. "But you look like you're in a pickle. Should I ask why? I might be able to..."

"No."

Areum sighed. "I thought so. But I know you little brother, you're distressed." She stood up, grabbing Taeyong's arm and tugged gently at it.

"But you're here looking downtrodden. Come, I'll make you some tteok-bokki. Maybe that will loosen your mouth."

Taeyong didn't want to budge. "I've eaten."

"Get up you mule, let's go home. You're eating more. You could use a few more pounds."

Taeyong stood up reluctantly and obliging his persistent sister, walked beside her who linked her arm around his. He needed to recover from the last thought on his mind anyway. It was frightening.