Presence

Chapter Five

Grind Me Down by Lilianna Wilde

Shadow left just before my parents were supposed to return from work. Side offered to stay the night, but I declined, saying that I just wanted to spend it alone. We did have school the next day and I wanted to be awake.

When I woke the next morning I found that Shadow had texted me

Shadow: good morning!

I smiled at the text and replied;

G: morning to u 2 :)

Shadow: Want a ride to school?

G: Only if you can take Side too

Shadow: Yep. See u in 10

I threw on some clothes, slightly aware that it was the same thing I had worn yesterday, but not really caring. My brain was too busy thinking about Shadow to entertain any other thoughts. I was brushing my teeth when Side entered my room.

"Ready for day numero dos?" he asked in the most American accent.

I pulled my toothbrush from my mouth and said, "You could at least try to sound less white when you speak Spanish."

"Shut up. Just because you speak Spanish doesn't mean you can tell me how to speak it. Hey, what's that?"

"What's what?" I looked around the room.

"On your wrist."

I realized too late what he was talking about. The reflection of my newly sliced wrist was visible in the mirror, exposed by my sagging sweatshirt sleeve. Side grabbed for my arm and pulled back the sleeve entirely. The cut was still red and hadn't even begun to heal yet.

"When did you do this G?" He asked me with anger and sadness clear in his voice. "Did you do it after you left school? Or last night when you told me you wanted to be alone?"

"I'm sorry Side," was all I could manage. I had completely forgotten that I had even cut myself again.

"You've been clean for a year. At least, unless you're not telling me."

"I have, Side. Really, I have. I swear. I just, I don't know..." I trailed off. I did know why I had done it, but I couldn't explain that to Side.

Side looked at me sadly before saying, "Let me clean them up so they heal nicely." He dug through my cabinet and found the neosporin and a couple bandages. I allowed him to apply the cream and bandages before covering them with my sleeve once again. Just as I did so, my phone buzzed and I checked it to find a text from Shadow, telling me that he was outside the house.

"Shadow's here," I said to Side.

"You're going with him?" Side asked me, his face falling in disappointment.

"You're coming with us silly," I answered as I walked carefully down the stairs. My wrists felt odd to be bandaged.and my mind was distracted by what Side could be thinking of me right now. He had let it slide for now, but I knew he wouldn't forget about it. I just hoped that when he felt we needed to talk, I was ready to give him the real reason for doing it.

-

The first few periods of the day passed smoothly. My sweatshirt sleeve accidently slipped in English when I raised my hand to answer Mr. Wilson's question on a possible theme for Of Mice and Men. He had noticed my wrist, but hadn't commented on it, however I didn't participate after that.

The bell signalled that it was time for lunch and I took a deep breath as I prepared for my walk to the quad to eat. My heart raced as I worried about what Polen would do to me today. I took my time to put my things away until I was the last one who remained in the classroom.