Presence

Chapter Eleven

Young Wolves by Racoon Racoon

I sunk to the ground and buried my face in my hands and between my knees. I wept until my head pounded, shaking violently with every sob. Eventually, I pulled myself together and stood up. I splashed water in my face and looked into the mirror. The person staring back wasn't me. It was my ghost.

I walked back to my English class and took my seat. The rest of the day passed in a blur. Nobody talked to me except for the occasional "are you okay?", but I liked it that way. Yeah, I liked that they ignored me. It added to the mass weighing me down. It gave me more reason to be angry with myself.

When I got home that afternoon I saw that my dad's car was in the driveway, which was odd. I opened the door to find him sitting at the dining room table, obviously waiting for me.

"I need to talk with you about something," he said, anger evident in his voice.

"What about?" All I wanted to do was lay down and cry for the rest of my miserable life.

"Someone had called the house when I stopped home to pick up some papers for work. Someone who called himself Shadow." He hissed his name in disgust. My stomach dropped. "Here."

He pressed the play button on the answering machine and Shadow's voice came out loud and clear;

"Hey G, It's Shadow, obviously. I'm so sorry, G. I knew I hadn't been being as good to you as I should have. You deserve better and I want to be that for you. I love you."

My Dad shut off the machine and turned his eyes on me. I shrunk under his gaze. "Explain this."

I sucked in my breath and breathed out, "I'm gay?"

My dad didn't say anything as he comprehended what I had said. Then he suddenly slammed his fist into the table next to him. I jumped and let out a tiny gasp.

"No!" He yelled. "I won't stand to have a faggot son. You disgrace our family. You ruin our name. I won't have it. You either change or you're not part of this family anymore!"

I cringed as if I were in pain. "Please Papá, it's not a bad thing anymore. More and more people are accepting-"

"No! I don't care what other people do. I will not accept it. I will not accept you!"

I was crying heavily now, my breaths came out sharp and irregularly and I started to gasp for air.

"Go to your room. If you don't decide to change, you will not come home from school tomorrow. You will not come home ever."

-

I didn't sleep that night. I didn't pack my things. I didn't know where I would go tomorrow. I didn't plan on needing somewhere to go. I didn't plan on needing anything anymore.