You're Mine

Truth

Classes happened to pick up normally the next day despite what John knew. Although Eliza and Hercules were "missing", nobody paid the fact much attention. In theatre, Alex asked John if he knew anything since he came back to the dorm after Alex was already asleep. John claimed to know nothing. By lunch time, the Schuylers seemed to be the only ones panicking.

"Where is she?!" Angelica shrieked several times, "she doesn't just go and miss class and she never came back to the dorm last night! I'll kill her when I find her." Her last comment received a muffled laugh from John and Angelica made her way to the table that he and Alex shared, "Why is that so funny?"

"What? No, I was laughing at what Alex told me!" he smiled up at her scowling face and he was just too innocent-looking to suspect.

"What did he say?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, he, uh, how's it go? Why don't you tell her, Alex?" John directed her attention to Alex and he froze, "Well, see, it goes like... um... you probably wouldn't like it much."

"Is it sexist?" she hissed.

"Hilariously so," John shrugged. Angelica rolled her eyes and turned back to sit with Peggy and Maria.

"Why would you stick that on me?! Dude, what the hell?" Alex was laughing despite how awkward he felt.

John shrugged again, "So sorry! I love youuu!" Alex's laughs faded into small, nervous chuckles as his face flushed red at John's words.

They sat in strange silence for the rest of the lunch period and didn't speak for the rest of the day. When Alex finally returned to their dorm, John was already there, sitting in the dark. "John? Why are all the lights off?" he flicked them on as he asked and saw that John was sitting in the middle of the room wearing clothing that was bloodstained. "John?" Alex was terrified at this point. John's face was sullen and his eyes were far away, "Close the door, Alex."

He hastily did so and dropped his things, "Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?"

"No, nobody hurt me. I hurt someone though. Two someones, actually," John stood so he could look into Alex's eyes.

"You'd... never," Alex scoffed, not wanting to believe what his mind was setting before him, "John, you'd never."

"But I did," he shot back quickly and ferociously, "I did and you know what?" He proceeded to grab Alex's collar and bring him an inch away from touching his face, "I did it for you."

"For me? But, what? No, I'm fine, John, what do you mean?" he made no effort to pull away because as much as he hated to admit it, no matter how terrifying John became, there would always be something there that calmed Alex.

"Oh, I know you were fine. Tell me, why her?"

"That's what I should be asking you. Why Eliza? And what did Hercules do? Do you know how upset Lafayette is that he hasn't shown yet?"

"Oh, I figured. And why Eliza? Simply because she had you, and I wanted you."

Alex felt his face go hot, "John, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying ever since my eyes came into contact with yours, I have been madly in love with you. In love enough to do whatever it takes to have you for myself."

"John, that's... that's not okay," he pulled away from John's grip now and noticed that his expression changed from stoic to upset, "That's... why would you kill for me? Just to get me? Why didn't you just ask me? I wasn't, Eliza and I, we were just friends."

"Yes, of course," John stepped toward Alex menacingly, "just friends who talk all the time and avoid me to be together. I can definitely tell I was mistaken." The sarcasm that he embodied was so unfamiliar coming out of his mouth.

"We avoided you so I could talk about you. Because, I love you too, John," he paused and inhaled shakily, "I loved you too."

John stopped and looked directly into Alex's eyes. Through his tears, they were hard to see, but the calming earth color would be recognizable anywhere, "You did? What- what do you mean by that?!"

"John, how can I be with somebody who has just killed two people because he was jealous? Where is the justification?! There is none! You killed because you wanted to, John. You took the life of two people, do you hear me, John!? You are a murderer. A monster. And how could anyone love a monster like you?"

Neither of them moved for what felt like eternity and on. They were both sobbing and staring at each other, thinking of what might have been.

And how could anyone love a monster like you?

...a monster like you?

You're a monster.

"But... you won't tell, will you? Please, Alex. Please. If I would have known, I'd have never. Alex, this was supposed to make you love me more, not turn me away. Please, Alex. I'm begging you."

Alex ran the facts through his head, He's a monster. He's a murderer. He just wanted to be loved. I love you, John. I'll love you no matter what you do, but you need to learn a lesson. I can't be with you because of the bad decision you made.

"No," Alex shook his head, "no, I won't tell. But if they find the bodies and figure out who did it, I can't stop that."

"I didn't bury the bodies. I'm surprised nobody has said anything yet."

"John," Alex's voice dropped to a hoarse whisper, "I don't understand how you could be okay with doing that. You're not even trying to cover your trail. No, I am not okay with the fact that you've become a murderer, but I don't wanna see you go to jail, either. If I'm questioned, however, I will hold nothing back."

"I understand," John sighed and nodded, "I do deserve jail. No, I deserve worse. And I definitely don't deserve you. I'm sorry." He turned and disappeared into his room and Alex could only watch him go. He held the key to ruining John's life. But would he?