Ode To Dirty Socks

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The vile pieces of cloth

That of which haunt the dreams of poor innocent children.

Your stench is worse then the bile of eleven elephants,

in eleven countries.

Though, to me,

your stench is as rich as a million laughters.

A stench I cannot live without.

Without you,

oh wondrous stinky sock,

I would die a thousand deaths

while living a thousand lives

because I could not shove thee down the throats

of those who taunt me.

Oh stinky, stinky, crusty sock.

Your surface is as thrilling and complex

as the bottom of my shoe.

Your touch is rough or slimy,

depending on the faces of those who I have trampled.

Please, oh wondrous sock.

Fill evil's nostrils with your god send stench.

Let your smell, disintegrate the hairs from the nose

of those who torment thine soul.

They will be filled with great fear at the very sight of you.

And tremble at the sound of your name.

Do not worry my friend.

I shall allow you to reek havoc

and bathe yourself in the most foulest of things.

I shall behold your glory upon a pedestal

and seek your righteous cause

whenever your presence is needed.

Stand on your own my friend

and you shall forever be triumphant

in torturing those that aren't ill enough

to be reluctant to your repugnant funk.

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