Burning Stars (BoyXboy) (Sequel to Falling Stars)✔

B.S 13

As I lay in bed that night, I thought of the day's events. I had finally honored my deal, even though it broke my heart to do that. I realized though that my heart broke the day I saw that picture of Jake with the girl. I'd held on to nothing, hoping my broken heart could be healed somehow. But it was all over now. The magic had disappeared a long time ago and the magician had cleared his props that day. It was the end. 

The day's events weren't entirely bad. I'd made a friend that day, a very- I should say, interesting friend. I liked Em. His blabbering and the way he dramatized things made me laugh. He was overzealous and full of life. He was nothing like Jake, proving that not all confident people had to be cocky. I enjoyed his company. We talked about how he felt having people look at him weirdly and he'd said, "Don't give a damn!". He was truly something else. 

He said he was surprised I was gay. I suppose I didn't look gay. I looked more like a stumbling idiot, which I was. I asked him when he found out he was gay and how he'd reacted. He said when he was 15 and although he tried to fight it, he decided to accept and nourish it. He said at 15 he didn't have an inner child, he had an inner gay. I laughed. I felt good laughing, although I was glad when he left. I wanted to be on my own.  

I closed my eyes. I wondered then what Jake was doing at that moment. I knew I would only hurt myself, but I couldn't help it. He was probably at that party he told me he was invited to. He was probably drunk. He was probably at that moment kissing some girl. Not a guy, a girl. I had only been his experiment, he wasn't into guys. A few minutes later they will find an empty room. No, all the rooms are full. They will find a couch in full view of people. It doesn't matter if people can see them, they aren't hiding. There is no reason to hide. They will make out, with Jake holding onto her beach-ball sized breasts like they are his lifeline. She will suc... 

I stopped myself. I couldn't go on like that. I couldn't pretend it didn't hurt because it hurt like hell. The thought of Jake with any person other than me pierced through my heart. Was he as gentle as he was with me? Did he like being in control? Did he have them lie in his arms afterwards, stroking their hair? Did he touch them the way he touched me? Did he moan when he couldn't hold on any longer or growl their names when he came? Did he fucking do that?! 

I raised a hand to my cheeks, wiping my tears fiercely. It was going to be an impossible task to try and fall asleep. Thoughts of Jake were at every corner of my brain. He just wouldn't leave me alone. He stayed there and tormented me. I promised myself to never love anyone ever again. The pain of a break-up was just too much to deal with. Physical pain would be better than that. 

Thoughts of physical pain reminded me of something I used to do when it felt like the pain was just too much. I looked at my wrist and saw the scars. One more scar wouldn't make a difference. I had to cut or I couldn't get through the night.

Jake's POV 

I wasn't in the mood to go partying, but I said nothing as I dressed. Ty and Eli were excited about the party. They couldn't stop talking about it. I put on a smiley face, in order to not cramp their mood. Eli knew what had happened with Chris. I supposed Tyler had told him. He said he was sorry, and that was the only thing he said about the issue. He refrained from feeling sorry for me, or maybe it was in his nature. I didn't mind, the last thing I wanted was to talk about Chris. Admitting to myself that I had been fooled was better than telling other people that. 

I was with Eli in our room. We were getting ready, barely saying a word to each other. I finished dressing; looking at myself in the mirror we had in the room. I was dressed in black skinny jeans, a white shirt and a black leather jacket. I was too lazy to comb my hair, so I wore a beanie, leaving my front hair outside.