Ever since the school year started and the new year starts you have never ever notice me like before. Never talk to me like before. School was a living hell already. Why are you making it worse? The day I spent with you was a blast. I loved it. You made me smile, laugh, anf help me survive school. Durring that year I notice how many things we did together and laugh and share. We knew each other so close. My feelings for you only grown bigger. I have always though that I could your most closes friend but when your not around I notice I'm sad. These feelings......does it mean I like you? I avoided that confession for so long. I have always though at night about it. Should I confess? What if it ruined our friendship?! Thinking about it just hurts me and makes me confuse. I dont know than. I didnt know my choice. After this new school year started you ignored me. My heart broke. But surprisingly it still works I decided to confess. I had a friend ask you to meet me. We met and I blushed. I was so nervous to say it. You were there. In front of me! I mumbled on my word first. He kept smiling and waiting. I vouldnt leave now. He is waiting all this time. "I......Love you!"
In embarssment i look down and blushed red. Waiting for his response....its really nerve racking! "Sorry. But you don't have the will to like me."
I broke. I screamed. I cried. All in me. Hearing what I heard broke me. I slaped him and smiled. "I understand...I have to go."
I turn around and started to walk away. Tears falling rapidly. A stream of tears flooded my eyes and cheeks. I covered my mouth and hid behind a corner crying. Why did he say that? He could have just said sorry I dont like you the same way. I held my voice in even thou I wanted to scream so bad. I held it in. I held my voicr in. I left the light path. I followed yhr darkness. As days go, I, memories of my life. I can't remember. I can't remember at all. I only remember a name.......Carl.....but who is he? Memories hurt to try to remember. I go homr and look at pictures frame that might help. I see me and a boy....labeled "Carl💖" my head hurts. It thumps. My fuzzy memories made the happy moments with Carl clear...I scream....I panic...I scream even louder, crying at the same time. Falling on my knee. Breathing heavily. Scared. Broken. Sad. My head hurts....so does my heart. They hurt. My memories...there fuzzy....fuzzy memories.....but.....I don't want to remember them. Those memories that hurt me. I dont Want to remember. I NEVER WANT TO REMEMBER! It hurts every second. Like a knife.....can I just die to forget them? Fuzzy memories. Leave them be. Lock it up. I don't want to remember. Please let it be broken. Let it scatter. Let my mistakes be gone.
