Complicated Love // Niall Horan *under editing*

[40] Niall's Letter [40]

Chapter 40

Vanessa POV:

I woke up to the doorbell ringing. I yawned, and got out of bed. After slipping on my slippers I headed downstairs. When I answered the door no one was there. I stood there for a moment, confused. It was then that I noticed something on the doormat.

It was a vase full roses, and next to it was a letter. I leaned down, and grabbed them. I slammed the door shut with my foot, and made my way back to up to my room. I set the vase on top of my dresser, and plopped down on my beanbag chair. I unfolded the letter, and began to read.

Dear Vanessa,

I wanted to tell you all this in person, but after what I did you'd probably kick me out. So here goes nothing. First off I'm extremely sorry for what I did to Calum. Jealousy got the best of me. I deserved the slap you gave me, and all that you yelled at me was true. I shouldn't have done what I had done. What I did was stupid. I understand if you'll never forgive me for that cause I know I won't be able to forgive myself either.

The reason why I visited you yesterday was because I was going to confront you about your relationship with Calum. I don't like the idea of you two as a couple. When I saw him on top of you I lost it. I felt heartbroken and angry. That should have been me, not him! That's why I grabbed him, and pulled him off of you. I don't need to remind you of what happened after that because I'm postive you remember perfectly well. Anyways after you pushed me out of your house I made a decision.

Have you ever heard of the saying ''if you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't it never was?'' well that's what I'm doing, I'm setting you free. I'm done with trying to win you back. It's over now. I'm not going to control your decisions, if you want to be with Calum, then be with him. No matter how much I want to keep him away from you I won't do it. I'll do what ever it takes to fight the jealousy feeling inside of me. I'll stay out of your life permanently if thats what you want. As I said before it's over, and I mean it. And if one day we get back together, I promise I'll treat you like the princess you are, and never let you go.

You'll always be in my heart. I love you, and nothing could ever change that. I'll never forget the day we first met. I'll never forget the day I introduced you to the lads, and their girlfriends. Or the day we went to the carnival with everyone, and I got jealous when I saw you on top of Harry. Or our first breakup. Or when I showed up at your house a month later asking for your forgiveness, and you easily forgave me.

Or the day I saved you, and your mum from your dad. Or when you called me in the middle of the night crying, and I came over, and sang you to sleep. Or the day you turned 18, and we threw you a surprise party. Or the day we all went to the mall, and a shooting occurred. But, most importanly I'll never forget that later on that same day you told me about your mission. That was the day I made the mistake of breaking up with the love of my life, you.

I'll never forget the day you got jealous when I introduced you to Ana. I'll never forget the laughs we shared, and the conversations we had. I'll never forget any of it. I also want to thank you for opening my eyes. Before you stepped into my life, love was like an alien to me. I didn't understand what love was, nor did I think I'll ever experience it, but you changed that. It was because of you that I can see clearly now to the things around me.

That saying, ''you never appreciate the things in your life, until they're gone," is so true. When we were still dating I didn't appreciate you enough, I realized that now. You mean the world to me. I'll never forgive myself for breaking up with you. At the beginning I thought I did the right thing, but I now I realize it was the stupidest mistake I have ever made.

I hope that you'll find it in your heart forgive me. I don't expect you to want to get back together with me, but can we at least be friends? Please? Or is that to much to ask for?

If not then know that I'm glad I was lucky enough to meet you Vanessa. Take care and remember I'll always love you, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you to give me a second chance.

Sincerely,

Niall