love means nothing • {c.b.❕d.s.}

o n e

"i think we should break up" her words leave her mouth so loosely. almost as if the words had absolutely no meaning.

i stare at her and for a second its like i can see the cracks spreading all around us.

or is that just me slowly breaking?

"i think you're right" i say trying to hold back the tears that a threatening to fall the more i stare at her.

she smile and gives me a quick hug.

"we can still be friends right, corbyn?" she says as she goes to open her front door.

i glance up from my shoes, "of course we can, christina".

i stand there awkwardly with a flower in my hand, "see you at school christina".

i pass her the flower and she takes it with a small smile.

the last thing i see is her smile that i love so much before the door shuts, locking all of christina away.

as soon as i close the door of my car, i sit there and i just think.

"what the fuck did i do? where did i go wrong? was i getting to clingy?" i keep asking myself questions that i know i can't answer.

but is still ask.

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i don't even realize i'm crying until i finally start the car and take off down the street.

a hitched breathe escapes my mouth as i pull into the drive way of my house, its twelve.

not like anyone will notice i stayed out longer than i should, no one is home.

"mr. besson?" i turn my direction to an old man who stands there, creepily.

how did he know my name? well our welcoming mat does say 'welcome to the besson's'.

he must be new neighbor, a super creepy one that is.

"what can i help you with sir?" i ask trying to not make it noticeable that I'm freaked out and i'm messing with my keys, trying too find the house key.

"you look awfully young, you're really married?" he asks.

what the fuck does this dude want?

"no sir, my mom is inside...i'm her son" i lie about my mom being home.

he nods and goes "i just wanted to let you know, you're right tail light is out".

"oh thank you, have a good night mr-" i stop realizing i don't know his last name, let alone first.

"just call me nigel" he says as he makes his way back to his house, across the street.

creepy ass old guy even got one of those creepy names, i'm gonna be killed tonight.

quickly unlocking my door, i vanish inside where i can be hidden from the word and cry my problems away.

i start asking the real question as i lay on the couch with a bowel of ramen noodles.

"what even are feelings?"

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feedback?

it'll get better y'all, it will get better.