love means nothing • {c.b.❕d.s.}

f o u r t e e n

"why am i allowing you to take me to a party?" daniel asks as he sits upside down with his legs pressed to the wall.

"because it'll be fun" i reply as i make my way to the kitchen where jonah sits as he eats a bagel.

"want one?" he asks as he stops retying the bag, "no, daniel do you want a bagel?" i slightly raise my voice to call out to the boy.

"do you have watermelon cream cheese?" he asks and i walk to the door way where he still sits upside down lazily.

"that's not a real thing buddy" "it could be" he makes a shrugging motion before falling over into a laying position.

"we have strawberry, blueberry, and original?" i say before looking back at jonah who nods.

"strawberry i guess" he sighs.

"strawberry" i say to jonah before walking over and sitting down in front of daniel who lays on the couch in a bored like manor.

he's been sad after finding out jack cheated on him with zach, when he was 'sick.'

but unlike me and christina, they are civilized people who sat down and talked about it. They still thought it was best to break up.

maybe that's what jack wanted and daniel agreed, because he wants to see his ex lover happy.

with or without him.

he watches me emotionlessly as i move my hand to comb my fingers through his loose brown hair. in a comforting way.

that's when i notice how dull and life less his eyes seem, yet they are captivating...

daniel blinks and i snap back to reality, along with jonah yelling "do you want it toasted?"

he nods but then remembers jonah can't see him so he quickly answers with a "yes".

daniel ate his bagel quietly still lying down as modern family played on the tv.

i sat on the floor with my back leaning on the couch.

↔

"you can drive" i say as i throw my keys to jonah, who doesn't argue he simply let's out a groan.

we drive, or i should say jonah drives to juliet's house.

as soon as we enter the house, it's dark out and someone snatches jonah and drags him into a crowd of people. i think it was august.

i make eye contact with zach from across the room, his face is heated up when he looks at me.

zach was always an innocent boy, so i just smiled...i hold nothing against the boy, because he is my little brother.

almost forgetting daniel was even beside me, he's been so quiet and its only been five minutes since we for here.

"you can abandon me at any moment" daniel says and i can't tell if he's joking or not. he's serious by the way he looks at me.

"i won't abandon you!" i raise my voice when the music is suddenly cranked up in the other room.

the neighbors are gonna call the cops and report a noise complaint, i can feel it.

"well, then i'm gonna abandon you!" daniel yells and then slips through a free space before drifting in the crowd and becoming camouflaged.

"shy boy my ass" i mumble.

i just stare but quickly shrug it off as i make my way over to zach, a nervous looking wreck.

"i-is daniel mad a-at me?" he stuttered out while nervously fidgeting with the cup in his hands.

"i don't think he's mad at anyone if I'm being honest" i think back to his cold eyes.

it seems to relieve zach just slightly, but i rest my hand on his head before ruffling his hair. "have fun, its a party zach!" i shout, giving him a toothy grin.

↔

you know that feeling, when you're in the grocery store and you get separated from you're mom...and you feel a sense of panic until you finally find her?

yeah, that me right now... i feel like this is how jonah feels.

it's awful.

well i haven't seen daniel all night, except for when he slipped in the crowd away from me.

he could have gone home? i doubt it. making out with some dude...hidden in the house? eh. hovering above the food? nope i checked.

my hearts been racing the whole time, its like i've lost my son. panic is hovering above me as i maneuver past people.

a sigh escapes my lip as I pass a window, I soon see the boy outside lying on the grass. Is he asleep?

"its like a cloud of relief went over me as i spot the boy."

↔

feedback?



y'all i blacked out earlier today. truth be told? you don't even know that it happened until you're on the floor and you're mom's hovering above you freaking out.
she always freaks out like its never happened before. (i get low blood sugar easily since i don't eat sweet or salty things that much.)