love means nothing • {c.b.❕d.s.}

t h r e e

"so how long are we gonna act like you are okay?" jonah asks as we sit on the couch.

"what do you mean?" i ask as i scroll through some dumb story i found on snapchat.

"corbyn its been four days" he says as he puts his hand gently on my knee, trying to start my therapy session.

"jonah i said i'm fine" i say as i look at him trying to give him a convincing smile before turning back to my phone. to fast of a turn.

"you've said that for the passed couple days, 'i'm fine', 'its okay', 'i'll be okay', 'i am okay'...shut up corbyn and tell me what's wrong!" He snaps.

it startles me.

why won't i tell jonah? i don't know...maybe its my heart saying 'he won't understand' even though i know he will.

"christina broke up with me" i say it as i stare down at my screen that's now black.

"corbyn you could have just told me..." he says as he pulls me near him as i lean my head on his shoulder.

there's the first step, admitting.

i hadn't noticed how much my heart actually aches when i admitted to the break up.

"It hurts" i mumble and jonah simply whispers "i know".

"can school just to away and let me be lonely a little longer?" i ask and jonah chuckles and rubs my arm. "nope can't escape reality buddy".

"sure i can" i mumble and then jonah has to go and remind me of back to school night and i wanna die.

"it starts at five" he says before going to get him a bowl of cereal.

it's only four, we have time.

"jonah! wake me up at 4:45" i say as i spread out on the couch lazily smuggling into one of the couch cushions. "okay" is all i hear before going lazy eyed.

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we pull up to the school parking lot where most kids are here with parents.

i groan as i step out of the car, listening to jonah lock it before running up to my side before we walk in the building.

"yep, still a prison" i mutter and he says "yeah, at visiting hours" and i actually let out a real, full laugh.

we stop at a piece of paper that says homerooms.

i tap my foot and let my finger trace down the list looking for my name a long with jonah's while he went to get a drink.

i close my eyes and breathe in slowly when i get mr. stewart the math teacher who always tries to get you to call him by his first name, garold.

why did i have to get math as my first period.

i scan the list again to see who's all in it and if i know any of them.

in the list i have quite a few people that i know since i'm considered a popular.

one name that's stand out though... its not far down from mine in alphabetical order.

"daniel seavey."

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corbyn and flowers are a part of my aesthetic.