Evolutionary

I. To Lose a Loved One

A loud ringing sound invaded the deep sleep I clung to. I awoke lazily, and slowly reached for the snooze button on my alarm, missing it several times before succeeding. My eyelids, reluctant to open, fluttered shut once again, welcoming the darkness of sleep.

"Doesn't your 8 A.M. class start in 10 minutes?" The voice piercing through the void of time and space forced my eyes wide and forbade sleep from my reach. I let out a small groan of frustration and stood up out of bed, slightly unbalanced, but awake. Elaina, my overbearing, yet perfect, roommate, stood over her bed, folding perfectly wrinkle free clothes. Walking past her, I fumbled into our shared bathroom and locked the door behind me. I stared in the mirror, frantically brushing my fingers through my hair to make it look less tangled, and quickly brushed my teeth. I pushed open the bathroom door and ran to my closet, looking for anything clean. I pulled out a pair of jeans, smelled them, and practically gagged at the smell, tossing them onto the floor. When I finally found something to wear, I threw it on and wildly looked around the room for my phone. 

My roommate held it up with a smug look on her face; she'd been watching me struggle this whole time and was amused by it. I rolled my eyes, let out a quiet, "Thanks," and grabbed the phone out of her hand, looking down at the partially cracked screen. 

3 text messages from: Oliver

O: Hey!

O: Hello?

O: Babe, if you don't answer I'm gonna call the cops.

Oliver and I started dating three years ago. I was only 18 and he was 21. We met at Tyro University, and I thought cupid had shot an arrow straight through my heart when I first laid eyes on him. Wavy, black hair, stone-like grey eyes, and a killer smile that slowed down time. We were at a random fraternity house,  and it was my first party. I was going to get my second drink when he bumped into me, spilling his beer all over the front of my shirt. Before I could express my disbelief, I looked up and his eyes caught me like a deer in headlights- I was frozen in place, heart leaping to my throat. He shot me that devilish smile and chuckled out, "I'm sorry, gorgeous. Let's go clean you up." I managed a weak smile and took his hand as he led me to the kitchen. 

For some reason, after that party he kept trying to talk to me every time we crossed paths. At the library, in the café, even walking to class; he'd find me and we would talk about any and everything. Eventually, Oliver asked me to be his girlfriend and I, of course, said yes. 

Today, I furrowed my brows as I texted back hastily, walking out the front door with my book bag half-on. "See you soon, Val," Elaina called out. I shivered at her words- Elaina usually never spoke to me in the mornings. As I half-ran to class, Elaina's words burned at the forefront of my mind, sending prickles of dread down my spine.

I made it to class two minutes late, shaking off the dewy grass from my shoes as I stepped through the door. "Welcome to English, Valerie. Did you forget this was your first class of the day?" Mrs. Allen dared me to answer. "Sorry," I mumbled under my breath and walked to the back of the classroom where I took my seat. As the day rolled by, I remembered Oliver's urgent text messages. As if on cue, I jumped when my pocket vibrated, my heart skipping a beat as I retrieved it. 

New text message from: Oliver

O: We need to talk, ASAP.

Me: Okay, I'll meet you at your house after my last class.

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When my last professor let us leave early, I walked back to my car and drove 20 minutes to downtown Lancaster where he lived by himself. When he graduated with his Bachelor's Degree in Engineering, he found a small one-bedroom apartment, got a salary job, and spent more and more time away from me. He'd been more distant than usual lately and I couldn't quite put my finger on why. When I pulled onto his street, I parked next to the sidewalk and walked up to his door. I let myself in and called out, "Hey, Oli! Don't call the cops, I'm here." He hesitantly walked out of his bedroom and into the living room, a weak smile pulling at his lips. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a tight hug. He smelled like pine dust and home, and I smiled in his embrace. When he pulled away, he had a somber expression on his face, something I wasn't used to at all. I sat down warily, all the while keeping an eye on him. 

When he finally mustered up the courage to speak, he said, "Valerie, I've been meaning to tell you this, because I can't stand the thought of hurting you, but you deserve to know why I've been so distant." I waited for him to continue, my heart in my throat. "I've..." he trailed off, sighing, as if not willing to tell me. "I've been seeing someone else, someone I met at work. I tried so hard to resist her, because, god, I love you, but we connect on a deeper level than you and I ever have," he paused and looked down at his shoes in guilt, "and she's been coming over every night that I told you I was working late." I stared blankly at him, waiting for him to tell me he was making some sick joke. Gut wrenching pain twisted in the depths of my stomach, and I almost doubled over from the suddenness of it. "I'm so... so goddamned sorry, Val," he whispered, tears falling down his cheeks. He reached for my arm, and I pulled back and scoffed at him. "You don't get to be sad, too, Oli! I-I can't..." I managed to speak, but couldn't continue. I put my hands on my knees, hesitated, and then pushed myself up to stand. I glared at him, rage blinding spots of my vision. "I knew something was going on." Pausing, I walked to the door, facing away from him. Three years... They meant nothing to him. I briefly looked back at him and caught something strange in his eyes. Was it relief from being with me? Pain of losing me? Or possibly complete and utter regret? I didn't care. "Delete my number, and never talk to me again."

I pushed through the front door, slamming it shut as I heard him yell my name. I wiped my eyes as tears streamed endlessly down my face, memories imploding in my mind all at once. The time I met his parents; when we arranged the furniture in his house; when we laid on a blanket and stared at the stars for hours; our first time together- two inexperienced lovers finding each other. Two years- all of it, gone and laid to waste. I had so many unanswered questions and things I wanted to say, but I knew if I hadn't left when I did, he'd see how much he completely destroyed me. 

My phone buzzed over and over again as I drove home with the radio blasting. Memories of the last three years overloaded my brain, one spilling into another. I cranked up the music even louder. The memory of the first time we kissed. I loved him. My car's speed increased as I looked for signs for the highway, needing a place to drive and think. The memory of him failing at braiding my hair, but I kissed him for it anyways. I loved him. As I drove closer to the on ramp, my radio flipped through stations by itself, the static practically making my ears bleed. I yelled in protest as I tried to turn the sound down, but the volume didn't change. The memory of us baking together, both laughing while cake batter sat on his nose. God, I loved him. The stations changed faster and faster, until suddenly I heard a voice chime through the static.  My eyes widened in fear at what it said and as I looked up, I was too late to correct my car from flying over the railing of the on ramp. The thought of him making love to another woman was the last thought that flooded my mind. But... I loved him. When my car hit the icy water below, the voice from the radio echoed through my mind as my world faded to black.

"The time has come, Valerie."