A Bride For Us

The Bed

She could see, plain as day, the tension in his body even if he had his back to her. For a second, she thought he would walk out of the room, choosing instead to sleep on the uncomfortable sofa in the living room like he had done the night before. A frown settled on her face as her mind drifted to the sofa and how uncomfortable it looked. It wasn't that the bed they had to share was comfortable -certainly nothing like her Queen sized bed in New York- but it was better than the sofa.

She had been surprised to hear him enter the room late that evening. After the conversation they had outside, she had convinced him to take a bath and had made her way up the stairs, giving him privacy. It hadn't crossed her mind that he would decide to share a bed with her, even if the thought alone thrilled her in a strange way.

Most likely thinking her to be asleep, he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his now clean skin. Once again, she found herself staring at his body; muscles most likely chiseled out of hours spent on the farm working hard. His body spoke of strength and a firmness that made her want to lean against him. In that second, she wondered what it would feel like to press her face against the firmness of his chest...

Would he require her to perform her wifely duties to him? Lily unconsciously shifted to the other side of the bed, a lump forming in her throat as her eyes remained glued to his muscled back. Her own thoughts scared her. He hadn't said anything yet but she couldn't be certain he wouldn't want to claim her as his wife. Would he be a gentleman about it, or would he force himself on her?

He stood still for a while, as if contemplating whether or not he wanted to share a bed with her. It would be their first night together, in the same room and on the same bed. While she knew she wasn't ready to be with him as a wife should, she didn't want him sacrificing his comfort for her.

With a sigh, she tore her eyes off of his bare back and turned to the wall. Having busied herself all day with giving the children -except Scarlet who was adamant- a bath, she had gone ahead to do their extremely large laundry. Falling asleep wasn't a hard task to accomplish as her eyelids pulled close, drawing her into a world of darkness.

!!!

It took a few seconds for Raymond to recognize who he was looking at, and another second to realize that his hand rested comfortably on her waist. She was so close to him with her face turned to him, that he could feel the warmth of her breath tickling his skin.

For the umpteenth time in two days, he found himself examining her features. Her skin was white and healthy, nothing compared to his tan, unhealthy skin. He found her attractive; perhaps it was because he hadn't shared a bed with a woman other than his wife, he wasn't sure.

His wife...

Wasn't this blond head who laid sleeping beside him, now his wife? Everything had happened so fast, he hadn't given himself the chance to weigh the consequences of his actions, one of which would be the fact that when he referred to his wife, he would no longer be referring to Rachel who was now dead, but to Lily. He would also be required to act as a husband, not just providing and caring for Lily, but loving her in ways that involved being intimate with her. The thought of intimacy alone, caused his entire face to catch fire as he withdrew his hand from where it rested on her waist.

What was he thinking, choosing to sleep on the same bed with her? At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do, especially because she had accused him of avoiding her last night and he didn't want her thinking that he despised her presence. A husband was required to share a bed with a wife, right?

He couldn't, he groaned, pushing himself to a sitting position. He could never be a real husband to her, not in the way a husband is meant to be. He could never fall in love with her, he wasn't allowed to. Perhaps it was best to discuss this with her? He sighed, running a weary hand through his brown locks. She deserved to know the truth, she deserved to know he didn't plan on being her husband. He wasn't in need of a wife, however, his children were in need of a mother and he needed to put his children's needs first. He would lay everything out before her, giving her the opportunity to decide on whether or not she wanted to remain and help to care for his children.