A Bride For Us

Hunger

Raymond's hand slipped up her waist until it was settling on her chest, where he began tugging at the buttons of her nightdress. She felt him kiss her ears and her eyes immediately snapped wide open.

It wasn't difficult to wiggle out of his grip, for he was weak and tired and partly asleep. She rose to her feet and stumbled out of the front door, trembling. It wasn't until she was outside and sitting on the front stairs, did she finally bury her face in her hands and weep.

Her tears flowed easily, sipping from between her fingers and falling to her white nightdress. Her entire body shook as her lips produced loud sounds in reflection of the heart wrenching pain she felt. The more she thought of the state of her marriage -its failure before it even began- and her misfortune of being trapped in that same marriage, the more she wept. To think that Raymond wouldn't even look at her, but would desire her if he thought she was his dead wife, broke her heart further. She laid the blame at her own feet, evoking more loud cries from her lips. If she hadn't been naïve enough to think a marriage brought together by an advertisement, would work! If she hadn't allowed herself the singular moment of enjoying his arms around her!

Her tears were a never ceasing flood that was determined to drown her. She didn't try to fight it for she couldn't. It was useless fighting when she lacked the will and the strength to do so, when she needed to let out the weeks of disappointments and hurt that she had managed to keep trapped in her heart. She had foolishly thought that Raymond would warm up to her, that he would begin to see her as less of a slave -an ugly, unattractive slave- and more of a woman, his wife. She had seen many couples in her lifetime, she had watched her parent's marriage. She had seen love between a man and a woman but had never seen her own husband look at her like he would ever love her.

She wept. Nothing could stop her tears, not even the small hands that took hold of her shoulders and pulled her close. She knew she needed to compose herself before Scarlet -for some reason, she knew it was Scarlet who was seated beside her even if she couldn't see her face. She suspected the child must have snuck out in the middle of the night again- and act like a proper adult. Still, the more she tried to be composed, the more she crumbled until she was burying her face in Scarlet's chest and letting out all of her anguish.

!!!

Michael showed up, several more times than Raymond could ever be pleased with. It was Michael's constant reappearance on the farm, that made Raymond determined to get better and in five days, he was back on his feet. But, unfortunately for Raymond, Milly took ill almost immediately he got better, forcing Michael's consistent presence on the farm.

It didn't help matters that Lily seemed eager to avoid Raymond and to accommodate Michael. He knew he didn't exactly have a relationship with Lily, but lately, she seemed worse. She wouldn't look at him, not even a courtesy glance. She avoided his presence, unless it was completely necessary and unavoidable and in two weeks, she hadn't said a single word to him, not even in greeting.

At first, Raymond thought it didn't bother him. This was what he wanted, right, a maid and not a wife? For she took on that role perfectly. She was close enough to his children -even Scarlet- and kept the house clean. But Raymond found her silence to be more loud, than her words. Her silence did nothing to make her invincible around him. If anything, it caused him to look out for her when she wasn't close by and when she did appear, he found himself turning back to look at her.

She had changed since she arrived the farm three months ago. She wasn't the princess who showed up from New York, she was no longer flawless and perfect. She was instead, a farmer's wife. Her fingers held blisters from working with the soil, her skin was darker than it had been, her hair was hardly styled in beautiful hairdos, her preference leaning more in the lazy bun or pony tale style now.