ne t'en fais pas

to you

who broke not just my heart,
but also me as a person.

thank you for breaking the way
i looked at life, for sucking the
light and fun out of the things
i used to enjoy doing.

i'm so glad you are gone, and that
you took everyone in my life with
you; you turned them all on me
and convinced them i was going
to be the worst person to know.

you have taught me to smile

through any pain that is to come
my way, because attracting any
attention- it means i'm seeking
it and that i am a shameful,
disgusting whore for doing so.

you shut the doors, allowing me
to be shut away and kept me from
seeking the sunlight on the other
side and the thin, bolted barricade.

you taught me that people are not
to be trusted, and that you cannot
confide in anyone no matter how
close you feel to them - not even
myself - because i will only be hurt
and cause pain to everyone in the end,

thank you,
thank you for proving to me just how
worthless, useless, and broken i can
be and always will be.

thank you, to you.

- november 12, '17 ; 17:51