To lose something you never had is unexplainable
To lose someone without understanding
Begging a god you didn't know existed
waiting for the voice they say has all the answers.
Days turn into years and the voice still hasn't appeared.
So you question " What is God?"
You here the shots fire
praying it's not what it seems.
Asking your momma if that was fireworks.
She says yes to cover your innocence.
The next day you walk to school, and
You see the yellowtape around the corner.
Your home on 6abc
someone died last week too, now days later another.
The grave diggers stand in shock
as they witness their creation flock.
It's like the shepherd with his sheep.
It's getting harder everyday to understand the concept of sleep.
Cause it's 3am and the only thoughts going through my head are the sons lost.
You here the mother cry for help, pulling on the blue collar for justice.
But it's never offered so it's never fair.
Months go buy and the candles are still lit praying to the Virgen with Rosario in the both hands wanting her son to come through the doors again.
Over and over again it's a vicious cycle with different names.
It's almost routine.
We buy the candles from the bodega
We play Cuban Link cause the flowers are for the dead.
We set up the box on the corner where the blood was marked
and we sit and wish a million wishes that they didn't leave the house that night.
Loss.
Loss isn't always death.
It could be losing a parent to the system that failed to educate them.
Waiting for the three calls during the day.
The inmate email.
Readily pressing 1 to accept the prepaid call.
Loss .
Loss isn't always the system failure.
It could be losing a father to drugs, he tried to sell but then became amused by the smell of it all.
Infused with all the drugs forgetting the ring of his own daughters name.
While his daughter sits crying on the floor begging to be held, tears dripping.
Her diaper is heavy so heavy he walks away and takes the needle down his blood stream again.
Loss.
Loss isn't always drugs.
It could be the orphan you became without willingness.
Your parents loved you enough to give you up they say.
But In return you don't know what love is.
Questioning your entire existence on account to not knowing from where you came.
Loss is that tightness you feel in your chest you feel while reading.
The throat throbbing sensation of the tears you try to chug down because you've been through it all or seen it all fall.
Loss is unexplainable.
Loss is inevitable.
Loss is the world we created with the foundation of poverty.
Loss is experienced in the streets that's in the news the most.
from the section 8 to the church gates.
The government fails to read the signs of struggle.
Loss.
Losing yourself in the midst of it all.
The worse part is when you lose someone, a little part of you dies.
And it's harder to keep both memories alive.
