I knew that I had found trouble in you.
I knew that it was way too good to be true.
I knew that the pain that I felt was all surreal.
And in a sudden movement of the pavement you walked towards her.
I knew then what I know now the aching before the breaking.
Most people say they seen the signs but chose to ignore them.
Or that they witness the faults at play and begun to fight with rushing winds of fire against this fair flame.
But I think with you..
with you it must of been confused cause the rules changed.
It was out of body.
out of sight.
out of mind.
I heard their stories
But never really listened I applauded when told
I clapped when signed to
But never really watched.
until what happened to me had happened before.
within the stories that I was told.
I told my self my love is greater.
My love is true.
But when it came it you I knew not even and inkling of that had not been true.
You ran after the meal like it was the last supper.
Not giving a damn to the woman who set the table for you.
You brought her in our home.
You heart.
where my own self laid.
Inviting her in.
A passenger.
A visitor.
on A radio lottery tour.
And on all fours you howled growled and moaned at the moon.
With her within the cresents crease.
The ache I felt from the tip of my toes to the fairness of my hair.
I felt the cold breeze.
The rush of years welled and fell from my sight.
I collapsed in my own arms.
I flew out of my body.
seen myself hold myself by myself.
while you drifted into the evergreen of shame.
I seen what the willingness of blindness had done.
I had lost myself.
But the breaking to come was the hardest.
Discovering I had not discovered who I was without you but furthering my mindset to adjust.
The breaking was a time of adjustment.
Judgement.
Movement.
Relapse.
Fudge.
And most of all self love.
So here is to welcoming the blooming before the grooming.
And ending all goodbyes to the ache before the break.
May I have happy endings with tragic beginnings and lovely lessons.
So I can teach my daughter the story of who I am.
