I Love Him But I Don't

Goodnight British Boy

Saturday mornings are usually when people sleep in and be happy. Mine was quite the opposite. Mother nature had decided to bless me with her beautiful red gift to re-assure me that I'm not pregnant. Like you couldn't already tell based on my sad and non existent love life. 

Hearing the door bell ring , I kept the tub of ice cream down on the coffee table and made my way to the door grumpily  , almost ready to punch the person. Fortunately, as soon as I opened the door I was greeted by my favorite pair of green eyes. 

"Moody aren't we?" Alex said chuckling then closed the door behind him and kissed me on the forehead. 

"I could kill someone , it hurts so bad" I whined whilst dropping beside him on my couch. 

My parents were both doctors which mostly meant they were on call and I had the house all to myself. My brother Jake moved out into his own apartment all the way in California. Alex always came over when I was PMS-ing because he didn't trust my grumpy ass alone. 

"I brought you more chocolate, and you get to pick the movie today" he said whilst giving me a lopsided grin. 

I gave him a smile and realized that this was my golden opportunity to make him watch The Notebook. Call me cliche but you gotta admit , this movie always gives you tears. So I put it on and lay my head on Alex's lap. He was kind enough to rub my back throughout the movie and I ended up eventually falling asleep. 

I woke up to the continuous beeping of an alarm and a really bad burning smell. Getting up from the couch I noticed that Alex had managed to start the fire alarm in my kitchen and was now panicking like a mad man. 

I got up from the couch and rushed to the kitchen. 

"I-it was all good and then it started burning and producing smoke so I thought maybe that's what happens whilst frying an egg. But then the stupid alarm started beeping and-"

"Alex"! I cut him off. "Calm down you idiot". 

I put the burnt egg and frying pan in the sink and turned off the alarm. I looked right to see Alex sitting there with his eyes wide in shock acting as if he had went through something awfully traumatic

"ALEXANDER JAMES RIDER! How many times have I told you to not go near the stove?!" I yelled loud enough for the neighbors to hear me. 

"Well it's not my fault you eat like a baby hippo! You finished all the chocolate and then fell asleep! I had to make something in order to keep myself alive!" he said slightly annoyed by my high voice. 

My eyes filled with tears immediately after he said that, PMS-ing no doubt but in that moment I felt like crying so hard. 

"You called me fat" I said looking up tears running down all over my face. 

His eyes immediately softened and he quickly wrapped his arms around me. Alex was hella taller than me and he could basically wrap me in his arms like a child. I started to cry on his shoulder as he continuously apologized. He smelled of mint and apple just like always. For a second I was so lost in his arms that I almost wanted to stay there forever feeling safe. But then I snapped out of my little trance and pulled back wiping my wet cheeks with the back of my sleeve. 

"You are not fat okay? You're beautiful and everybody loves you, especially me" he said sincerely.

I looked at my best friend and smiled. 'I love you' were just 3 simple words that didn't even define half of our friendship. I always liked to think of us as people who others considered as friendship goals. I'd known this doofus for almost 9 years now and our bond was unbreakable. 

"I love you too best friend" I replied and then we spent the afternoon cleaning the house and just hung around. His company was all I needed on a sad day. When mother nature turned against me , there would at least be one person I could  always count onand that was Alex. 

Sunday wasn't really that fun. Alex had a family dinner that he had to attend so I just slumped around the house , doing nothing. It was nearly 11 and I was about to go down to grab a snack when a notification popped up on my phone. 

Xavier Adams would like to follow you 

After my one class with him on Friday, I had almost forgotten about the whole my knees going weak at the sight of him thing. But I wont lie, he did come to my mind once or twice. I almost immediately accepted his follow request on Instagram and saw that there was no need to send one back because obviously he had a public account. I started scrolling through his feed, he definitely liked taking pictures of himself. Although I would never say it to his face because that would boost his ego by a thousand , this boy was gorgeous. But unlike me some girls had actually commented some very inappropriate comments on his pictures and honestly he seemed to like the attention. But then again, when have we ever met a good looking boy that isn't a playboy. 

I was looking at a really old post of his in which he didn't look much older than 14 and I accidentally clicked the heart button that liked his picture. Unaware of my stupidity , I put the mobile down and went to close the window when a message popped up followed by a screenshot where it showed that I had liked a really old post of his :

Xavier Adams:

Stalking me eh? . 

My eyes widened at the screenshot and as soon as I realized my mistake , I mentally killed myself. Pretending to be cool about this whole situation when I was actually pacing here and there in my room  I replied:

Me:

Don't flatter yourself. My phone's messed up and it's like it has a mind of its own. 

Xavier Adams:

Whatever you say darling ;) 

That nickname and wink emoji did it. No matter how much I tried to deny, I was definitely attracted to Xavier. And he probably talked to every girl like this but it still had an affect on me. 

Xavier Adams:

Alright well goodnight then. See you in Biology tomorrow sweetheart ;) Try not to dream about me too much. 

Me:

Ha-ha. You'll be lucky if you ever come in my dreams. Goodnight British Boy.

And with that I turned my phone off and lay there in bed just thinking of my feelings about Xavier. I still hadn't told Alex but then again it wasn't really a big deal. I had only met Xavier once and his good looks could easily charm any girl. However given that he had an affect on me , I was not going to confirm any feelings unless I knew his personality. Because looks were not the first thing on my list when it came to boys. 

Tomorrow was Monday and thinking about seeing him again just gave me butterflies in my stomach. Nobody had had this effect on me in just one meeting and this boy had me excited for school which I thought was impossible. 

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Okay so two chapters in two days is not so bad is it ? :P 

I'm definitely having a lot of fun but I might not be uploading this regularly due to my first semester finals. However there will be updates after that so stay tuned because I really look forward to writing these chapters :) 

comment and vote because that would mean the world to me <3333

Signing out as a forever hopeless romantic :p