The Outsiders: A Soc's Betrayal

Prologue

The heels of my shoes pounded violently against the ground; my head was spinning wildly with jumbled up thoughts. My blood chilled at what, or who, I would find when I arrived. My cheeks were a light scarlet and I was short of breath, but I pushed myself onward. I had to see him. I knew I would find him. But, I thought to myself, what if it's too late?
No, I argued with my imagination sternly, biting back a rueful wince. Dusk was coming; the shades of the sky were a light orange and red, smeared together like paint. The street lights flickered on. I was nearly there. Crickets chirped from field to field, though they only soothed me for a heartbeat. My anxiety got the best of me.
Sweat clung to the sides of my face now, and instead of hearing the crickets' repeated rhythm, I now listened to their voices, furious and tart in my eardrums.
"You betrayed us, you lying Soc!"
"Why'd you do it? You could've told us from the beginning!"
"You broke our trust in you."
I could see their stern expressions, their pitiful looks burning in the back of my mind. It was my fault, all my fault. I set out on a mission, and I failed them. Why couldn't I get my head out of the clouds and think straight, just for once?
The bump on the sidewalk startled me, and I nearly tripped if it hadn't been for my recovered balance. There you go again, I inwardly kicked myself Get your mind straight. Focus on what you have to do right now.
It was just ahead. I halted outside of the double doors and grasped the handle, pulling it open; I paced inside and desperately tried to catch my breath before confronting the nurse at the front desk. I hope I wasn't wrong, though my gut told me he was here. Somewhere in this hospital, I knew he was here.
"Yes? How can I help-"
I interrupted the lady, causing her to frown in concern immediately.
"Take me to Johnny, Johnny Cade. I need to see him."
"You can't visit him at the moment. The doctor's busy looking over him-"
"Just take me," I pleaded, on the verge of sobbing uncontrollably into my hands, "Take me to him now."
So I was right. He was here. After the horrid news I read about in the newspaper, I couldn't stay away.
The nurse sighed and narrowed her eyes for a split second, then looked back at me and worry flooded her expression all over again.
"Okay," she eventually broke the tense silence.

When she brought me onto the elevator to take me to the next floor, it felt like months, years, even decades went by. Fortunately, the nurse turned a sharp corner on the second story and brought me to a stop in front of room 216; a rush of hope flashed through my gaze.
She knocked three times, swift and urgent.
"Doctor, it's me, Nurse Caitlyn. Johnny has another visitor."
Another? Another startled me. Who else would see to Johnny at a time like this?
"Bring her in. There's good news to share."
The doctor's voice was straightforward and convincing; it made me feel dizzy with relief. I would've fainted then and there if it hadn't been for the nurse who held the door open for me.
I thanked her briefly before journeying inside. The thought of seeing the young greaser again made my heart pound twice its normal pulse. I blinked to clear my vision, and made out what was in front of me.
Off to the side of the cot was the doctor, dressed in a thin white coat with a clipboard in one hand. He wore glasses, and had aged, gray hair.
A chair was pulled over on the opposite side, which contained an older hoodlum, with dark hair combed and greased to the back. He wore a black, leather jacket with an expression no one could read. At once, I recognized Dallas Winston, the outlaw who did anything and everything to appear tuff and tough, in both ways. It hit me like a tsunami. Did he even remember me? He met my eyes, though nothing was spoken through the short contact. I almost grimaced when he turned away carelessly.
Another hood was standing at Dally's shoulder, a smaller, younger one with a gray tank top and a head of short, blonde hair. A greaser? With hair like that? Ponyboy must've dyed it and cut it for a reason. An important one, that is. He, too, acted as if my presence didn't matter. I should've expected this sort of welcome.
I shifted my eyes and stared at the bundled heap lying on the hospital bed. He was bandaged up all over, clearly burned and wounded to an extent. What had happened out at that fire? I nearly wept as I searched his helpless expression; his wide, black eyes now truly looked like a puppy's, revealing how out of sort and miserable he was. Johnny Cade, the greaser who was shy, sweet, and beat too often, was now in for the worst. His face moist with sweat from the pain, he glanced upwards, meeting my eyes immediately. This time, there were no rejections- instead, he held my gaze for the longest time, and spoke hoarsely, "I knew you'd come back."
"Johnny, look at you," my voice cracked with disbelief as I walked closer to the edge of the bed. "What have you gotten yourself into?"
I now found myself heading for his side. Johnny held my gaze the whole time, never blinking or looking away once.
"It's just a few burns and scratches," he answered coolly; his voice did not betray any of the pain he could physically feel. "Emma, I missed you. Please don't leave me. Not again."
"The gang," I managed, "The gang doesn't want me here. You heard what they told me last time. To leave, to never come back."
Johnnycake drew in a breath. "Forget the gang," his eyes blazed and a husky voice replaced his normal tone. "They can't tell you what's best for you. Only you can decide that. I think you tried to do what was right, but you ended up going about it the wrong way."
I nodded, falling into a deep silence. Tons of memories overwhelmed me, making the room spin before me.
While everything was quiet, I noticed Johnny shooting a warning glance at both Dally and Ponyboy.
I eventually broke.
"Johnny, you're sitting here wishing I would stay when I'm the one who should be wishing it were you who'd stay! Just look at you-- you look as if you're on the verge of dying, and I don't want that! I don't want to lose you all over again. We lost each other in the midst of things. I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose you . . ."
"Emma. I'm going to be okay."
I whipped my head up to face the doctor, waiting impatiently for a report.
"He's going to be absolutely fine. He's a very lucky young man, being able to survive a serious case of injuries like that. He won't be able to maneuver the same as before, but give it time, and he will recover fully."
The doctor's full explanation helped me calm myself all over again. I peeked back up at Johnny, who was still watching me with what looked like warmth and amusement lingering in his eyes. This time, my own were bleary and wet from crying.
"Stay with us," Johnny attempted to beg me some more. The damage I had already done was an obstacle. It didn't feel right to be with a group of tuff guys who didn't want me to stick around.
"I think Johnny's right."
It was the soft-spoken voice of Ponyboy, who folded his arms across his chest and looked directly at me. "What's done is done, and nothing can change that. We can either hold a grudge or forget about it, and I think the whole gang can forgive if they tried."
When I looked over at Dallas, he simply nodded in agreement, the rough expression on his face showing he wasn't in the mood to speak. Maybe I could stay. Maybe I could try again.
Their three stares bore into my own, and I rapidly glanced in order from Johnny, to Pony, to Dally, and back again.
"Alright," I announced nervously, "I'll give it a shot."

Stars dotted the navy blue sky. I was reluctant to leave Johnny by his lonesome with the doctor, but he had insisted on confronting the gang before heading home. With Pony on my right and Dally on my left, we trekked on the side of the street. Maybe they do miss me a bit, I tried to reason with myself. I wouldn't hesitate to admit that I missed them with every passing day while I was gone.
The two hoods and I veered to the left, arriving at what I remembered was the Curtis' house.
"The rumble is tomorrow night," Ponyboy told me as we stepped onto the driveway. "I would hope that the gang is all here at the moment." We approached the porch and my eyes flicked about anxiously. I wasn't sure I was ready for this. Then again, I had no choice. I was already there.
Within several knocks, the front door swung open to reveal several well muscled men, standing at the front of the doorstep. As soon as they laid eyes on me, several in the back of the group gasped, and Sodapop Curtis, who was the one who had answered the door, had a change of expression. His eyes widened, for he was bewildered beyond belief.
I'd asked for it. I'd come back willingly, knowing I would have to see them again. Their faces betrayed the hostility they'd showed in my last visit, and how shocked they were that I had returned after all those words said. No matter how much I prayed, how much I hoped, how much I begged, I knew they wouldn't ever look at me the same way again. Besides, who would after what I had done? I don't think anyone could forgive a Soc's betrayal. I waited patiently for the shouting to start, for the accusations and the furious voices to fill my ears. Who knows what would happen, dealing with this group of greasers?
I would've never known.