Quiet | Kaylor

IV

Warning: mentions of abuse and use of ableist slurs

It was nearly two weeks into Josie's stay with the Swift-Kloss' when Richard decided to be competent and send her files.  Both women heard the notification on their phones go off at the same time, like some sort of pretty little liars scenario.  But instead of a creepy stalker who wanted to kill them for seemingly no reason, it was just a rather incompetent social worker. 

"Finally," Taylor huffed as she waited for the files to download on her phone.  She squinted at the small print, not having put in her contacts.  Karlie leaned over her shoulder to read while the TV played cartoons in the background.  The two sat in silence for a couple minutes reading.  A couple of phrases stood out from the rest:

...diagnosed with Level 1 Autism at 22 months...

...in Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy for 2 years...

...hospitalized for multiple burns resulting from domestic violence...

Karlie's hand snaked around Taylor's waist and their fingers interlaced out of habit.  "It's a lot," she said, sighing.  "I always think we've become desensitized, but it still hurts to hear about."

"Yeah," Taylor agreed, letting her eyes stray over to Josie as she half petted a sleeping Olivia and half watched SpongeBob.  "Do you think we should talk to her about it?"

Karlie paused for a moment to gather her thoughts before replying.  "I think she's going to be okay for right now.  We'll talk about things when they come up organically.  We don't want to overwhelm her."

Taylor sighed, brushing her curls out of her eyes.  "You're right.  Besides, I doubt she'll want to talk about any of it.  Not yet.  She needs to trust us and feel safe here first."

~*~

The room was light minimally with one yellow lamp.  Josie was sprawled on the floor drawing with new crayons.  Right now, she was drawing spirals.  She liked spirals, they looked really cool when you drew a bunch of them in rainbow colors all over the page. 

She liked when the house was like this.  She liked being alone.  Everything was quiet and she could pretend to be in another world, in another life where she had a nice mommy and daddy, like Ms. Honey in Matilda.  Josie found that book in the library when she went with her doctors, as mommy liked to call them.  She didn't like them much, but the library was fun. 

The front door slammed and Josie's head shot up.  They were home.  And they were arguing.  "Yeah, well you weren't at a friend's house.  You were up at her place fucking her brains out!"

"Are you fucking stupid?  I told you, I wasn't!  You're making shit up." 

She unbuttoned her coat and aggressively threw it to the floor.  "I saw you!  I fucking saw you!  You're lying and you know it!"

He sighed, shoving past her into the living room, his steps uneven.  He'd been drinking.  Suddenly, he tripped over the box of crayons lying on the floor.  "Josefina!  Look what you made me fucking do!"  Breathing heavily, he picked himself off the floor.  "Get this shit off the floor and get me a beer," he shoved her down roughly as he made his way to the couch. 

Josie, who scrambled to comply, was still wobbly on her feet as she ran to the kitchen.  She hated when her parents were like this.  They could be nice sometimes, but never when they were drunk.  When she walked back into the living room, Daddy had turned on the TV and was watching football.  "Josie, what did I say about the crayons?" he shouted suddenly, making her jump.  He rose off the couch and shoved her down again into the mess of crayons lying on the floor.  "Pick them up!" he yelled. 

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the tears at bay shoving the crayons into the box.  Mommy came back into the room with eyes like fire to pick up the argument when she left off.  There was no escaping her wrath, so Josie stayed put with shaky hands as she finished picking up the crayons and tried to block out her parents' voices that made her head ache. 

She could only fight it off for a couple of minutes before the noise was too loud and the TV was too bright and everything was just too much.

So she buried her face in her knees and covered her ears and rocked back and forth, back and forth like the ocean or a late night car ride or a cradle and hoped they were too busy screaming at each other to notice her...

"Josefina!" Mommy screamed. 

No such luck. 

"Stop that!"  The slap was quick, coupled with a scratch from the ring on her finger.  "We've talked about this!  Do you want to look like a fucking retard?" 

"No!" Josie yelped in response, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She continued to mutter the words under her breath, tears streaming down her face, still rocking because it helped ease the ache in her chest and head while Mommy continued to scream.  She felt a weight on her stomach and flinched away with a gasp.

Josie's eyes shot open as she found herself being prodded awake by Meredith.  The old cat had taken a liking to her.  She mewled questioningly.  "It's okay," Josie whispered, not quite sure if she was reassuring herself or the feline.  "It was just a bad dream."  Except for it hadn't always been just a dream. 

Her heart still pounding, she tangled her sweaty hands into Meredith's soft coat.  The thought of getting Karlie or Taylor crossed her mind -- Karlie had said to get them if she ever needed anything, after all -- but she quickly pushed it away.  They would probably be upset at her for waking them up at this hour.  Besides, it wasn't a big deal.   It was just a dream.

So Josie lay there until dawn, with the weight of Meredith curled up on her stomach and her soft fur comforting her.  She just hoped she was getting better.  Taylor and Karlie were so nice, but that would surely change if they found her stimming.  That's what happened with the last family, anyway.  Why would things be any different with them?

Josie was still pondering this when Karlie knocked gently on her door.  "You awake, buddy?" 

"Mhmm."

"How'd you sleep?"

Josie didn't know how to answer this, so she shrugged noncommittally.

"Not the best, huh," Karlie said, noticing the tiredness in her eyes.  "Meredith was keeping you company, I see."

Josie smiled.  "Yeah."

"Was there any reason in particular why you couldn't sleep?"

"Bad dream," she offered tentatively, testing the waters. 

Karlie's face morphed into one of concern.  "Oh, that's not fun.  Why didn't you come get one of us?"

"I don't...I don't know," Josie said softly, even though she did.  Getting Karlie would've meant talking about it, and they would never be able to understand.

"Well, if it happens again, don't hesitate to wake us up.  Nightmares suck, but having to deal with them alone is even worse."  She brushed Josie's curls out of her eyes.  "Got it?"

Josie didn't know if she would, but figured a little lie here might be for the best.  "Got it."