Quiet | Kaylor

IX

"Taylor," Karlie realized later that night as they were getting ready for bed, "You never gave me my third gift."  The first two--an ice cream making kit and a pair of earrings so expensive-looking that Kimby muttered "rich people" under her breath--had been handed out earlier, along with a card that promised a third.

"Oh," Taylor said sheepishly, "I sort of forgot about it with everything going on tonight.  It can always wait until tomorrow."  She drew closer to Karlie.  "Do you want to guess what it is?"

"Can I have a hint at least?" Karlie pouted, even though she already had a pretty good idea of what it was.

Taylor sighed.  "Fine, whatever.  Starts with 'Victoria's,' ends with 'Secret.'"

"Hmmm, I wonder what that could be," Karlie joked.  "Wait are you wearing it right now?"

Taylor laughed.  "Eager, aren't we?  But yes, I am, if you must know.  I just assumed you'd be worn out from all of the stuff with Josie earlier."

"I am tired," Karlie admitted, "But I'm sure we could make it work."  She patted the spot next to her on the bed.

"Whatever the birthday girl wants, she gets," Taylor said, happily obliging.  She unbuttoned her shirt and shimmied out of her shorts as her wife watched hungrily. 

"Damn, Tay," Karlie whispered, still able to make Taylor blush.  She took no time in removing Karlie's clothes and pushing her back onto the bed, but once there her movements slowed.  They had time.  Her fingers traced over the familiar surface of Karlie's lips, moving down her neck, and dipping into the valley of her collarbones. 

"Taylor, you're taking too long," Karlie whined.

She rolled her eyes.  "My apologies.  I'm just trying to establish a mood here."  Regardless, she complied, tracing her lips down Karlie's toned stomach, kissing the inside of her thighs, and, finally, reaching where her wife wanted her. 

They hadn't had sex since a bit before Josie came into the picture--about two weeks--so Karlie came undone quicker than she usually would.  As the orgasm rippled through her body, it stripped her bare emotionally, dredging up everything she had been suppressing.  And so, for the second time that day, Karlie began crying.  The tears were silent at first.  It was only when she let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and sob when Taylor noticed.

"Kar?  You okay?" she asked, wiping a hand over her mouth and crawling up next to her wife.  "Are you laughing or crying?"

"I don't know!" Karlie hiccupped.

"Oh, Baby," Taylor smiled fondly, letting her collapse in her arms.  She let Karlie fall apart a little bit.  "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Karlie mumbled, burying her face into Taylor's chest.

"Does it have to do with Josie?" Taylor asked.

"I guess," Karlie said.  She was silent for a moment.  "I think she needs professional help."

"I agree," Taylor said, "We can look into what kinds of therapy they have for autistic kids tomorrow."

"No, but besides that," Karlie said, "I think she needs talk therapy.  Or whatever that's called, whatever you did.  She's been through so much shit, and I don't want her to become closed off, or stop trusting people, or think badly about herself."

"You're right."  Taylor looked at her wife lovingly.  "Of course you're right, darling.  But that's something we can deal with.  She's going to be okay."

"Okay," Karlie murmured. 

Taylor pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "Are you up for a round two?" she asked, only half joking.

"Sure," Karlie said.  Then, more quietly, "But can you...can you hold me?"

"Of course, baby."  Taylor smiled.  Before doing so, she reached back to unclasp her bra and took off her underwear.  Then she wrapped her arms around Karlie, pulling her between her legs and leaning back against the headboard.  With one hand between her legs and the other on he breasts, Taylor held her wife until she reached her high. 

Karlie was quiet, and Taylor was scared she was crying again.  She wasn't.  Her eyes were shut and she sighed lethargically.  The day had completely worn her out but she felt so content and loved.  Not for the first time, she wished she had the words to accurately express how much she appreciated Taylor.  I love you never felt like enough.

But for tonight it would have to do.

~*~

Slept crept up on them after the lengthy day.  Taylor's was a fitful one filled with the familiar dreams of drowning.  Unlike usual, she was acutely aware that she was searching for someone else being pulled beneath the waves.  And, each time, just when she caught a glimpse of a tiny hand, or a child's shoe, she woke up. 

The third time she awoke, gasping for air she felt an insatiable urge to go and check on Josie.  So Taylor quietly got out of bed.  Karlie sighed but didn't wake up.

She tiptoed down the hall, her steps heavy and her breathing labored like she still hadn't left the dream; like she was still stuck under water.  It felt like hours before she made it to the room next to theirs. 

When she reached out for the doorknob, she realized her hands were shaking.  The door eased open and Taylor looked through the crack.  Illuminated by her star-shaped night light, Josie was curled up on the bed fast asleep.  She was clutching her koala, and Olivia was sprawled out next to her. 

The cat was awake, and blinked at Taylor as if to say, You worry too much.  Taylor rolled her eyes.  She knew she did. 

She stayed there watching the gentle rise and fall of Josie's chest and listening to the eb and flow of the ocean waves just outside until her own breathing slowed to the same tempo.  Dawn was approaching.  Taylor pressed a kiss to Josie's forehead and walked back to join Karlie under the covers, hoping to get a few more hours of sleep.