Notes (Jeon Jungkook)

Chapter 4: Why?

Morning came and Jungkook was completely energized to go to his class, to his surprise the moment he stepped in his class, there was no sign of Ryujin. He was utterly in shock, yesterday everything turned out to fine, but why was she absent. Was she sick?, reminiscing all the events that happened yesterday, made a frown on his face grow and the rate of his heart beating kept on pacing up. He still at least felt thankful enough for knowing Ryujin's identity despite the short time they spent together.

Someone brushed his hands on Jungkook's neck making him jot in surprise, it was Taehyung all along. The younger one felt agitated, quickly retreating from his older brother. Jungkook placed his head on the table, the others were thinking perhaps Jungkook was fretting over Ryujin's absence. He was usually the quiet one except today, he was totally being cranky and a downcast. All of them appears to be bothered by it. Jimin approached the maknae gave him comfort with reassuring words to ease off the melancholic environment surrounding him. Jungkook was still fainthearted over the current situation. Without pausing, he endured what he felt, proceeding to the school's garden to ease off his thoughts.

The fact that it was pestering him all day long, he also couldn't hold on but to go where Ryujin's apartment is. As if his instinct was sending him a message that she wasn't doing well, a precaution in fact. He always believed that whatever his guts would tell him to do was the right thing, but was that the right thing to do as of now?, he didn't have the right to easily barge in someone's place just because that person has feelings for him. He knew to himself, that he wasn't an egoistic jerk. He can't be prideful just because Ryujin admires him. It scared him, it felt like his world started to revolve around Ryujin, he remembered that he had her journal with him. But curiosity killed the cat, so he peeped a little yet ended up reading a few pages of the journal.

Entry for the day:
He almost caught me, I swear it was hard putting that letter inside his locker. I needed to look like a normal person passing by, acting at my finest just not to get caught by some students. I hope that we can talk soon, but my stupid confidence and self-esteem is lower than my grades.

He laughed quietly, he finds it adorable. He proceeded reading some of her entries.

Entry:

I feel like dying, I'm tired. I want to give up, I've had my own phantom about how my future will be. And I realized that also the most beautiful things in life has flaws, and gets broken. Like me, broken and fallen.

He was in a clutter after reading that, it troubled him, now pieces came more vague. A slight tap, he bolted out from the blue. He heaved a deep sigh, a familiar figure stood beside him. The sides of his lips twitched up and his reflexes acted up and grabbed Ryujin's side pulling her petite body along with his. He pecked her forehead, she kissed his cheeks and he was caught off guard and was deeply flustered occupied by his own thoughts. Not once in his life he was stunned by a lady. Even when he was with his ex, he never felt so extremely giddy. He was left dumbfounded at the moment. Everything was a blur, he was enjoying it. A simple kiss on the cheek made his hurt flutter the most.

Ryujin smiled hugging him tightly, "You have my journal right?", she snapped Jungkook's thoughts, he rummaged through his bag and handed her journal. What she doesn't know is that he has kept something from her journal. He shrugs in return, "Are you sure that you didn't read this?", she retorted at him. He felt guilt creeping inside him. Why was she asking him that, he really wanted to read everything since he didn't the guts to ask her why, he was afraid that she would be angry at him. He pushed that idea off, now that she's here he just wanted her to stay longer with her. "Jungkook, I have to go to the restroom,I'll be back", she informs Jungkook that was busy with his own world.

Ryujin wasn't feeling well at the moment, so instead of meeting back with Jungkook ,she went directly to their infirmary. Jungkook became impatient, and he saw Yerin making her way towards him, he got up to his feet and hid from her. Yerin was now confused on her way she saw Ryujin resembled as a lifeless person. She didn't have the time to bother asking her all of a sudden, Yerin clearly saw that she was the girl whom Jungkook was talking to before she got his attention. She was selfish, all she wanted to do was to reconcile, get him back. She can't handle the emptiness and void when he left two years ago. His brother dumped her for finding out the truth. She used Jungkook to get closer to his brother, she was infatuated with Jungkook, yet she was in love with his older brother. Therefore she thought of 'why not have them both?'. She was a wolf in a sheep's clothing, very despicable. Driving people with her looks, but she didn't see Jungkook there.

He left to find Ryujin. Hours passed and Jungkook became more uneasy, the same goes for his hyungs. Hoseok felt guilty, he saw Ryujin a while ago in the infirmary a while ago, she talked to him and he swore not to tell a soul even Jungkook. His palms were sweaty, his figure was slowing down, he wasn't the type of person to bear pain. To keep secrets from his brothers, but he had to do it for Ryujin. Even if he liked Ryujin, he's learning to let go of her for Jungkook.

The maknae kept on pacing through their dorm. He never got her number, and they have an on going meeting at the moment. On the other hand, Ryujin was finally awake and writing stacks of letters for Jungkook. She didn't want his beloved to worry about him, she thought that it was out of the box to easily like her back. He didn't knew who she was till recently, and now he's showing gestures of him having affection towards her. She was a new to everything, she never experienced having a boyfriend, or at least having skinship with someone.

Jungkook was the first guy who received a kiss from her. She was trying to save it for someone meaningful, a sentimental value. She knew that her time was slowly ticking, and she didn't have to hesitate and waste time. Why not fulfill her dreams and spend more time with Jungkook. "Honey, you didn't tell him yet?", Ryujin's mother asked her.

She shakes her head and softly cries. "Honey, you better tell him soon. You can't just let Hoseok keep that from him, you know that", her mother hugs her kissing her head. Ryujin didn't know what to do from this moment. She wished that she never sent those letters to him, and those notes left on their coffee table where she first met Jungkook. She knew the consequences of her actions, she was praying the price of it now. "Mom, I swear I love him so much, he's going to be a successful man you know with his members and all. He's perfection", Ryujin sobs into her mother's arms. Her mother was hurting so much at the sight of her daughter.

"I still have to send these letters though", she jokes to her mother.
"Yah, Ryujin-ah can you please stop joking around", she pinched her daughter's nose.

Jungkook couldn't sleep all night. Therefore in uni he was a zombie. With droopy eyes, very pale, and a minimal amount of energy. His hyungs pampered him, knowing that his condition was affecting the overall performance of their group. "Geez kookie, why didn't you get her number then pabo", Yoongi snickers hitting Jungkook softly. "I know hyung, I'm stupid that's why", he admitted, the complete vagueness washing over Yoongi's face.