Notes (Jeon Jungkook)

Chapter 8 : Waiting is painful

Jungkook halted his breathing, staring at Ryujin
"I'm dying", she spoke in a subtle manner.

Jungkook's fist started to clench, and he bit his lips too hard that it turned into a purple color. He was trying to hold back his tears, the girl which gave importance to his being was sick. And it was too late for him already, he was a dense person.

"I saw that you drank those tablets for your bleeding", Jungkook states not breaking eye contact with her.

"And people with cancer only takes that", Jungkook continued with his voice slowly cracking.

"Jung-"

"Stop it okay!", Jungkook cut Ryujin's words, still denying the fact. It was because he couldn't accept the reality, and it scared him how Ryujin was slowly dying every single day. He wanted to spend more time with her, and take care of her.

Ryujin felt so much pain, witnessing Jungkook crying was the hardest part for her, he already saw her in this state, which she technically hated the most but she couldn't do anything anymore, because he already found out the truth. She grabbed his hands and intertwined her fingers with his. Jungkook resembled like a jelly.

Sensitive with her touch, he quickly tore his gaze at Ryujin. "I have acute myeloid leukemia ", she whispers to him.

"Why did you keep it from me?", he asked

"Because, the moment when we met each other in that café two years ago gave me hope", she started fiddling with her fingers.

He attentively listens to her reason.

"I never had a boyfriend, and I wasn't interested in liking someone either, because I thought that it was a ridiculous idea. Like who would like someone if they only met once?", she resumes

"And I saw you in my school, that's where I realized how i grew feelings for you. Since i was a wimp, a very faint-hearted person, i decided to write letters to you, although it started when you didn't noticed that i was the girl from the cafe where I worked. And you borrowed my Notes, It gave me the idea to send you messages about how I felt", she finished smiling at him as is she wasn't sick.

"You're a unique person, approaching me in that way", he smirked getting rid of the gloomy aura.

"You know that i'll always love you right?" , Jungkook placed his hands on her cheeks.
"But why?", Jungkook panned, well the liquid substance fell down from his eyes again.

"I was already sick at that time, and decided to stop getting treated, when you came and ruined it for me.
I never imagined that I would be privileged to get an amazing boyfriend like you in my life",'Ryujin chuckled, but it was clear that sadness was evident in her tone.

"You'll have your dreams Jungkook, don't let me be the hinder to your dreams and I believe that you'll go far someday", she wipes his tears with her hands. He sniffed, clutching to her hand as if his life depended on it. He was overwhelmed by the recent events that happened. He concluded that Hoseok knew everything, it upsets him where he didn't knew anything even if it was transparent already.

He could see how genuine Ryujin was, and it made his heart even flutter more. She was still beautiful, despite being sick. "I don't have any time left Jungkook, it's almost gone", she whimpers, her body started to ache again letting her screech, and scream in agony, her head was aching too much, of course it wasn't your typical headache, her light body started to shake and blood started to appear from her nose.

Jungkook panicked and called for help, a group of doctors and nurses barged inside her room, taking her away from her private room.

"Hurry she needs to be in the ICU, immediately!", one of her doctors told the team, carefully moving her into a new room, he was devastated. Horrified from what he witnessed. "I'm so sorry that I failed you Ryujin ah", he cried again, the same hot fluid ran down from his eyes. He was sitting down still in her room where she stayed.

He was lost, and one thing that could help him was calling Hoseok on the third ring he answered.

"Hyung", he cried

Hoseok knew why he was like this, and he knew that it was going to come sooner or later.

"Ne, Jungkook?", he subtly said

"Can you please come here?, i'm still here please", he maundered, clutching to himself for support.

After a few minutes Hoseok arrived at the scene  seeing him helplessly sitting on the grounds where his back was leaning on the walls of the hallway.
He didn't have any hesitations and threw Jungkook a warm hug, comforting him. It eased off Jungkook's pain a little. He was just sad as him. He couldn't bring his mouth to spill that he liked her at first that's why he knew that something was wrong with Ryujin judging from the huge amount of time they spent before when they were still dancing together.

He didn't want to hurt Jungkook more. He still thought about how low morale Jungkook is as of now, due to what has  happened. "Hyung, how did you know that she was sick?", Jungkook asked perking up beside him.

"We always talked things out, because we had a siblings type of relationship with each other,but I never thought that she was the one sending you those letters or notes", Hoseok admitted facing Jungkook with sincerity.

Jungkook nodded and cried in Hoseok's chest, venting out what he felt, it was given that he experienced mixed emotions, bottled up frustration and he didn't have a good resort than to cry his heart out, like there was no tomorrow. Luckily Hoseok was a very caring and understanding hyung to his dongsaengs, he treasured them a lot.

"It'll be alright, just do what you have to do without regret okay?", Hoseok rubs Jungkook's back. The younger one nodded and hugged his dear hyung, seeking for more of his comfort.

"I swear hyung, i was never frenzy about a girl before not even with Yerin", Jungkook muffled under his breath.

"I know, just vent out every single thing", Hoseok told him.

And just like that after what happened today, when Jungkook came back. He was informed that Ryujin wasn't confined in the said hospital and she was transferred somewhere, they didn't gave him the information because they were strictly ordered to.

Jungkook's world was crushed, and he was thinking what his existence meant to him, and to her and why everything was simply falling apart. Because it started with those notes and letters. Everything started with those small things which made him happy.

But he didn't knew the sole reason of his happiness was the same reason of his agony as well.