Half a Man at Best (Sequel to VALERIE)

Chapter Fifteen

I had to rewrite this bc my brother used my laptop and the one that was nearly finished was deleted. I was beyond fuming, I swear!

Copyright © zylgnagnaba 2014

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Liam asks me thoughtfully once we reached my room in the girls’ cabin. The place is already dim and silent as I reckon that the other girls are already in their rooms to catch up on their much needed slumber, considering the long hours of flight and drive on our way here.

I am glad that Liam was there to comfort me. He just sat there next to me on the sand and listened as I continue sniffling and crying on his shoulder. Although I wasn’t able to tell him everything that was bothering me, he didn’t leave my side until I finally was able to calm down.

“Yeah.” I say simply. “Thanks for being there for me, Liam.” My voice still sounds thick from crying. Even my eyes still feel heavy and swollen.

“Don’t mention it, Val. It’s been a long time after all.” Indeed, it has been a long time since I run to him for some sort of brotherly comfort. I just feel sorry that every time that I do, I always damp him all my problems. I was so selfish. Though I know he has a lot on his plate as well, he still remains to be my shock absorber. Amazingly, he doesn’t even complain about it.

I nod at him, thankful that he hasn’t even changed within the couple of months that I was away from them. With one last quick hug, we tell each other our good nights and he waits until I step into my room. Once I have finally pushed the door close, I hear his footsteps fade at a distance.

I toss myself onto the soft mattress and reach for my bag to get my phone. I dial Joanie’s number and I wait for three rings until I hear soft thuds from the other line.

“Hello?” Her voice booms into the receiver. I turn my body sideway on the bed while I draw irregular patterns on the white bed sheet.

“Hey, Joanie.” I try to sound composed but knowing her, I know she can see through my pretence.

“Have you been crying?” There goes my trying to sound composed.

“I held Niall’s nephew in my arms. He was so cute and cuddly. I couldn’t help myself, Joanie.” I tell her instead of answering her question. I sniffle, knowing she can easily decipher what happened next.

I hear her sigh in exasperation and if I was there right in front of her, I’d see her rolling her eyes at me. “Val…” She drags my name out in a whiny tone. “How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t be too hard on yourself. It wasn’t your fault.” I know she’s tired of this. We’ve had this conversation for so many times.

“You don’t get it. You can’t blame me for blaming myself. The baby was with me.” I tell her matter-of-factly and she grunts and I hear movements from the other line. I reckon she’s sitting up on her bed right now. And if I am a bit more accurate, I know she’s rubbing her forehead too.

I regret calling her because I can only assume that she was already asleep before I called her.

“Valerie, get over it. The past is in the past. Move on already. You’ve been punishing yourself long enough.”

It’s easy for her to say. She didn’t get pregnant only to end up having a miscarriage.

“Give yourself another chance – with Harry. Try another one. Get pregnant and this time, please take extra careful.” I would have actually laughed at her bluntness if her previous words didn’t just hurt.

“Sorry,” she continues. “You know I didn’t mean it that way, right? All I am saying is that, you should move on already. You’ve been mulling over the same thing over and over, blaming yourself for what happened. You know what I think? You should go back to Harry because you need each other. I know for sure, he’s just as hurting as you are.”