Half a Man at Best (Sequel to VALERIE)

Chapter Twenty-two

~UNEDITED~

Copyright©  zylgnagnaba 2014

When I was a little girl, I have always dreamed of a wedding in a white castle – like the ones in the fairy tales that I have once read or watched. A huge wooden double-door would reveal me to the witnesses of the fine and important occasion. They all would be standing in awe, eyeing me carefully as I march down the long aisle while I am arrayed in a beautiful long pastel dress as the sweet and slow song plays on in the background.

The beautiful jasmine flower crown would be adorning around my head, seamed with my long see-through veil. I would carry a bouquet which would entail a variety of white florae and I would feel like the world would stand still as my gaze would only be glued with my yet faceless prince charming. The butterflies would come dancing around and birds would sing in unknown but melodious sound, celebrating with me and the love of my life as we would tie the knot.

Girls my age would be jealous because I am the princess of the castle and I would be united with a handsome prince waiting for me at the altar. They would wish they were in my place. They would wish they had my beauty – enough to catch a handsome prince’s attention. But mostly, they would admire my strength and endurance for overcoming the maleficence in my entire existence before I found my prince charming, before my happy-ever-after.

When I was eight, my mom said that my second name, Valerie, meant strength or strong. Since then, I have tried my hardest to live up to the name – because came along with the name are the subconscious expectations. Thus came defending my big brother from his bullies. I was always regarded with stronger personality between us two siblings. I wasn’t into sports but I could kick ass on volleyball and/or football (soccer). My brother, however, loved to obscure himself with scribbled letters on his science textbooks.

It would seem unbelievable, but I was often sneaking up to my father’s small gym at our manor – lifting small weights just for the hell of it, seeing to myself if I could somehow deliver. But as soon as I turned twelve, experiencing my first puppy love, I have become more lady-like. I started sitting at my mom’s bench in front of her wide mirror with sets of her make-up and perfumes laid out on the table, I would cake my face with humungous amount of them – thinking I would look even more attractive. I was attractive – enough to pass as a clown. My father even laughed at how I painted my nails with excessive nail polish.

However as I moved on with my life, no matter how strong I might be, I have still become prone to disappointments, pain, and much more emotions when along the way I found true love. I don’t think being strong isn’t enough for anyone to handle or resist such emotions. You would always feel them no matter how hard you try to dodge them.

But I found out that strength isn’t what you need to possess in terms of facing these extremities. Strength is what you’d acquire after overcoming them.

Reason why I couldn’t find the right course back to my prince charming just yet – because I am not yet through with my demons, not yet through punishing myself. I am my own demon and I need to beat her in order to gain that strength so I’d eventually meet my prince at the end of the race.

Harry is right. I don’t need some saving by my prince charming – he tried to accomplish that but he failed. I need to save myself. I need to forgive myself first.

“Talk to me when you already did.”

And he is right there waiting for me at the end of the race, patiently and hopefully.

“You may now kiss the bride.” The priest announces, yanking me out of my little daydream. Everyone around applauds as Niall unveils Bree before leaning in to grant each other a delicate kiss as a newly-wedded couple.