FEMALE PRESIDENT |✔

Bab 11

Suasana di dalam kereta agak sunyi dan hanya lagu 'Love Someone' nyanyian Lukas Graham yang sedang dimainkan di corong radio kedengaran. Zakwan fokus dengan pemanduannya sambil curi-curi pandang Liyana di sebelahnya. Liyana pula termenung sambil memandang ke luar tingkap.

Awkward...........

"Liyana,"panggil Zakwan menghapuskan lamunan Liyana. Liyana memandang Zakwan dengan pandangan 'apa dia?'.

"May I ask you something?"soal Zakwan.

"Yah sure, what it is?"kata Liyana sambil memandang Zakwan dengan penuh kepelikan. Pelik lah, kenapa nak tanya soalan pun nak mintak izin?

"You don't like me right?"ujar Zakwan sambil gelak tak ikhlas. Liyana menundukkan kepala memandang tangannya yang berada di atas pehanya.

"Yes, I don't like you,"jawab Liyana. Zakwan mengangguk kepala tanda memahami.

"I see, it's okay I........"

"Why should I like you? I just met you,"Liyana memotong kata-kata Zakwan. Dia memandang Zakwan sambil tersenyum nipis. Zakwan yang memandang wajah Liyana mula tergelak kecil diikuti Liyana.

"Ah yes, of course we just met. But actually what I meant is........"

"I know what you're trying to say,"Liyana memotong kata-kata Zakwan lagi.

"You want to talk about your election as SPA president right?"sambung Liyana sambil memandang Zakwan. Zakwan mengangguk kepala.

"I don't like Madam Julia's idea to have you as SPA president not because you're a new student and you're not worthy to take the position. In fact, you're more  than worthy. You have a good reputation, clean discipline record, excellent in both academic and sport.

You have a wonderful personality too, you're friendly, caring and loving. But most importantly, you're a good son,"kata Liyana sambil memandang Zakwan dengan senyuman di bibir.

"I've  always give excuses to not give my position to anyone by saying that I haven't found the right candidate yet but really the real reason is because I don't want to let go of this position.

I've created SPA, it give me a sense of belonging. The feeling of like 'ah, this is what I want to do'. I don't know if you can I understand that but that's the best I can describe it.

When it was taken away from me, it's just doesn't feel right. It feels like 'oh, so that's not what I should do?'. Confusing right? That's understandable,"kata Liyana dengan gelak tak ikhlasnya.

"No, I understand everything you've said,"ujar Zakwan. Liyana memandang Zakwan dengan pandangan 'really?'.

"I've experienced that kind of situations before. You know my family is a business family. Almost my whole family members are involved in business. I used to be the first child in my family.

So naturally, my grandfather inherited all of his assets to me. He said that I will be the next successor of the family. I feel excited because like you, I've found a sense of belonging.

I've found the feeling of 'ah, this is what I want to do'. But then, my long lost cousin came back after 5 years missing. And he is 10 years older than me.

Because he's the actual first child in my family, everything that was once inherited to me were being taken away and given to him. I was confused and I have that exact feeling of 'oh, this is not what I should do?'.

So I can absolutely relate to your situation,"kata Zakwan dengan wajah sayu tetapi senyuman di mukanya masih tidak pudar.

"Wow, you must have a tough time huh?"komen Liyana. Zakwan hanya tersenyum kepada Liyana.

"How did you handle it?"soal Liyana.

"Well, it's not easy but it will get better. I just brush it off and set in my mind that if this is not something I shouldn't do, then there must be other things that will give me the sense of belonging again.

And I'm going to find it no matter what. Sometimes you need to let go of something for better things to arrive. We're teenagers, it's normal for us to feel this way since we're still trying to find ourselves and who we're truly are.

We're still learning and we will never stop learning. That's the beauty in life, you get something and you might need to let go of it sometimes. But after that, you'll get something new.

So don't worry, you'll find what's going to give you the sense of belonging again. It could be a lot of things you know? So keep searching until you've found it,"nasihat Zakwan penuh bermakna.

"I see, so how about you now? Have you found those things?"soal Liyana. Zakwan tidak terus menjawab. Dia berdiam diri untuk beberapa saat.

"I have, though it takes a long time,"jawab Zakwan.

"Why? Is it too hard to find?"soal Liyana lagi.

"No, it's just my definition of sense of belonging might not be correct,"

"What do you mean?"kata Liyana sambil mengerutkan dahi.

"I thought what I want is power. I thought that's what's going to give me the sense of belonging so I strive for it. That's why I've become the headprefect in my old school.

But sometimes when you have something in mind and you want to accomplish it, but when you're succeed you realize you actually don't really want it.

Which is the case for me, I've realise that things that give me the sense of belonging is not power or money or popularity. There's more to it,"

"And what it is that give you the sense of belonging?"soal Liyana ingin tahu.

"People. My family, my friends. People who I love and appreciate. They're the one who give me the sense of belonging. Because they accept me for who I am.

They never told me to be somebody else and they support whatever I'm doing. They tell me when I make a mistake. They praise me when I did the right things. They're the one who build up my identity.

They're the one who help me to find myself. And they're the one who give me the feeling of 'ah, this is what I want to do'. So I've decided that what I want to do in my life is to love, care and protect everyone who's dear to me. That's my promise,"terang Zakwan. Liyana tersenyum lebar selepas mendengar ucapan Zakwan.

"I hope I can be as optimistic as you,"komen Liyana lagi sambil mengeluh perlahan.

"Well, there's nothing wrong about being realistic. It's prevent you from becoming too naive,"ujar Zakwan kepada Liyana.

"You know, I think we make a great couple. You're realistic and I'm optimistic. You can help me to prevent myself from becoming too naive and I can cheer you up anytime,"gurau Zakwan.

"Oh please, I can't stand a puppy like you okay?"kata Liyana sambil menggulingkan bebola matanya.

"What? A puppy? Hey, I have 'mad dog' as my nickname in my old school okay?"

"But you looks more like a puppy to me,"kritik Liyana.

"You're saying I look cute?"soal Zakwan sambil mengangkat keningnya berkali-kali.

"No, I'm saying you look immature to me,"gurau Liyana.

"Hey, how can you said that? I'm the most matured looking eighteen years old you will ever came across......."

"Oh look, we're here. There's an empty parking there. Come on, we need to go. It's 10.15 a.m. already. Faster,"Liyana memotong percakapan Zakwan. Dia mendesak Zakwan dengan memukul lengan Zakwan dengan buku nota di tangannya.

"Haish, okay okay. Dah jangan pukul, ingat tak sakit?"kata Zakwan sambil merampas buku nota di tangan Liyana. Liyana tersenyum seronok dengan gelagat Zakwan.