Punishment

40

- Aera Castro

I looked at my reflection, the woman who's standing in front of me was a huge mess. She's been in a chaotic situation but look at her, she's still standing and keeping her face up.

Yesterday was the worst day for, our family. Dad immediately called our lawyer and filed a case on Fuertes as soon as they leave.

Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dapat galit ako sa kanya pero iba ang nararamdaman ko. I hate this kind of feeling, it's very unusual of mine.

I looked up at the clock and started to walk when I saw the time.

Pagkalabas ko ng gate ay nakita ko sa malayo ang familiar na kotse. It's Rowan.

Hindi ko na lamang ito pinansin. Yumuko ako at nagpatuloy na lamang sa paglalakad.

"Aera," habol sa akin ni Rowan but I keep myself from ignoring him.

"Aera, please, let's talk." pagmamakaawa niya. "Hindi makayanan ng konsensya ko ang hindi mo pagpansin sa akin." he added. My head's starting to boil up, hinarap ko siya.

"Konsensya?" I chuckled. "Uso pala sa'yo 'yun?! Eh nung sinagasaan mo ang kapatid ko, nakonsensiya ka ba?!" sigaw ko sa kanya, hindi ko na naramdamang tumutulo na pala ang mga luha ko.

He looked at me in an apologetic look.

"Hurt me, Aera." i gave him a questionable look. "Slap me, punch me, do whatever you want. Saktan mo 'ko, Aera." he opened his arms wide signaling that it's totally fine with him.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at buong lakas siyang sinampal. Lumakas ang aking pag-iyak habang sinusuntok ang kanyang dibdib. "I hate it! I hate my fcking self for I can't hate fcking you! Why do I have this feeling?! Bakit ikaw pa?! Nakakainis na! Ayoko na!"

Rowan stopped me from what I'm doing and hugged me. He kissed my temple and tried to shoo my tears away. I missed this guy. I've missed his care and his love. Sana ganito na lang parati pero alam kong imposible ito. Sana hindi na ako magising kung isa man itong panaginip.

"I-I'll get going." I said, trying to cover up my face and walked.

Wala sa sarili akong naglakad. I let my feet control the whole me. Mula sa kabila ay natatanaw ko na ang coffee shop na meeting place namin at si Josh na nakatayo malapit doon, kinawayan niya ako na sinuklian ko ng ngiti. Because of my craziness, I didn't even bothered to look at my both sides na labis kong pinagsisihan.

Narinig ko ang malakas na busina at nakita ang mabilis na pagtakbo ng isang kotse--- sa direksyon ko. Hindi ako nakagalaw agad. Gustuhin ko mang gumalaw pero parang automatic na dumikit ang mga paa ko sa kalsada.

"Aera!"

Maybe this is my time. . .