26 Days of Klaine

K

Warning:  HELLFIRE  AND DAMNATION

Be prepared to laugh your shit off. thereekofgleek is my idol for writing this

Kinks ~ thereekofgleek

"Blaine, have you ever heard of katoptronophilia?"

The person in question looked up from his book to see his best friend reading from his laptop with an interested gaze. It was the first time he had said anything in nearly half an hour; they were currently sat in the library and using the day off school to "study".

AKA, Blaine was reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Kurt was looking up kinks.

"I don't believe I have," Blaine replied.

Kurt hummed quietly and went back to reading. Blaine did likewise, but wore a slightly confused face.

Three minutes later Blaine's curiosity kicked in: "So, are you going to tell me what it is?"

"What what is?" Kurt asked, smiling.

"The katopnotrypaniphilia thing. Kapotnatripaphilia."

"Katoptronophilia," Kurt said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, that. What is it?"

The older of the two broke into a grin, "I just wanted to see you struggle to pronounce it.

"If you really must know," Kurt continued, "katoptronophilia is the arousal to sex in front of mirrors."

Blaine frowned, "And how would you know that?"

"'M bored." was all the explanation Kurt offered.

"So bored that you're looking up mirror sex? I think our history textbook is more interesting than that."

Kurt sat up so suddenly he nearly fell off his chair. "That is not what I was doing. I was just browsing and happened to come across a . . . list of strange kinks people have."

"Mm-hm," Blaine hummed.

"If you don't believe me you can look at the website!" Kurt defended himself. Blaine grinned and moved to the seat directly beside Kurt, laughing at Kurt who had a blush the colour of strawberries in the summertime.

"'46 Sexual Fetishes You've Never Heard Of'," Blaine read out. "I'll bet you $5 I've heard of at least 4."

"We are not betting over this!" Kurt buried his head in his hands.

"Actirasty. Arousal to the sun's rays."

"Stop this," Kurt begged dramatically. "I was just bored. You don't have to do this to me. I'm innocent!"

Blaine smirked and scrolled further down: "Climacophilia. Arousal to falling down stairs."

"I don't understand that one," Kurt whispered from behind his hands.

"I don't understand any of these."

Blaine scrolled down some more, finding one he had actually heard of before. "Necrophilia. What's so arousing about dead people?"

"Maybe it's because they can't judge you," Kurt said as he sat up slowly, prompting Blaine to burst into laughter.

"You have a point there," Blaine said when he'd finished laughing and noticed how creepy it actually was.

Kurt broke out of his dramatic performance when he saw the s's coming up and cracked a smile as he pointed to the laptop screen. "My favourite is coming up."

"Which is?"

"Stygiophilia."

"Arousal to the thought of hellfire and damnation," Blaine said once he found it, "Interesting."

A chuckle came from beside him and Blaine found Kurt unable to stop laughing, once again hid behind his hands. The noise made the younger of the two grin: Kurt hadn't laughed like this in ages due to stress.

"Maybe we should stop before you choke to death," Blaine conceded and closed the tab (of course after bookmarking it and naming it 'Google' and deleting the one of the same name).

Kurt eventually calmed down. He then sighed and said, "Wouldn't want anyone getting aroused by my corpse."

The librarian was glaring at Kurt for causing such a ruckus, but turned away with a scowl when he quietened. The boys were the only students in the library (there was probably some party on that they couldn't care less about).

"I think we should go back to the dorm now," Kurt said and closed his laptop. "I don't think I can handle any more excitement today."

"I wouldn't think exciting would be the best word to describe kinks."

"Concerning," Kurt tried again.

"Better."

They both stood up and made their way out the door, not missing the stink eye the librarian gave them.

When they were outside, Kurt said, "There's not really anything wrong with having a kink, though."

"Pedophilia. Necrophilia. Gerontophilia."

"Bar some," Kurt corrected himself. "Like, if they're not illegal and aren't life threatening, they're just another part of being human."

"That is true. But some of them are just . . . so weird I'm losing my faith in the sanity of humankind. Speaking of sanitary, what the heck is with the arousal to urine?"

Kurt shrugged, "I dunno."

As they walked past the statue dominating the green garden on campus, Blaine murmured, "I will never think of statues the same way again."

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Later, as Blaine and Kurt were turning off their lights to go to bed, Blaine asked, "What's so sexy about hellfire and damnation?"

"Go to sleep," Kurt laughed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"i request kinks"

"kay i'll write it"

"kay do good and don't let me down"

"kay"
"i'm done"

"this is so bad; you're a fucking disgrace"
"i hate you"

"i hate you too"

"you should be ashamed of myself"

"i am, dw"

Im not entirely sure what that last part was. I'm assuming that's a conversation she had with herself. Idk if I'm meant to post it but I'm posting it anyway cos it's funny

But yeayyyyy. GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO thereekofgleek

AND NOW GIVE HER A ROUND OF HELLFIRE AND DAMNATION BCOS SHE'S NOT A KLAINER ANYMORE (not letting that go bitch)

But seriously... what IS so sexy about hellfire and damnation?

Anyone here got any kinks? ;) *wiggles eyebrows*

Hope you like it thereekofgleek.
thereekofgleek  wrote it for you, which means you'll hate it. But try to see the good in it.