Why Me? (an OHSHC yaoi Fanfic)

"He's your brother"

*please please please read the note at the end*

Izoma's POV

I think I'm about to cry. I'm so confused. And hurt. And stressed. I just want to sleep.

No one will understand These things, I barley do and I don't think I could put that pressure on someone.

But..... Maybe it would help... My heart is with multiple people. And all of them are taken and wouldn't spare me a thought.

I mean I am a hot mess that is to overweight for someone to even spare a glance. I let out a sigh, laying my head onto the table. Tears threatening to fall.

My shaking hand runs through my hair, the pain distracting me.

I don't understand these feelings. I like the twins...Kyoya....and Iowa as well. I'm such a whore.... b-but I don't want to hurt anymore..... Im scared. Scared of rejection and heartbreak. I've had it to many times.

It's not a pleasant experience....but somehow...I believe this time will be different. That the people I like will like me back. Not just for my body but for who I am.

Hm... That would be nice.

I glance up and around, still no one. I sigh and grab my bag, standing up. I head towards the door, to leave this stupid club when someone shouts my name.

"-Izoma?! Izoma where are you going?" I turn stiffly to see Iowa basically running my way. I feel my heart rate increase, my anxiety bouncing from wall to wall.

Once his smiling figure reaches me I let out a breath. "I'm gonna head back to the house. " He looks really confused.

"Why aren't you with your guests?" I give him a look and reply in a monotone voice.

"Obviously I would be over there if I had guests." I point and he follows my finger with a '0' face. "Why don't you join me?" He asks excitedly.

"W-What?" I blush. He just giggles and drags me to his table. He grabs my backpack, dropping it to the ground. I give him a bored look though internally I am happy he wants me to stay.

He's your brother.

So?

He also has two boyfriend's.

Meaning he is willing to have multiple.

But why would he choose you?

....

Exactly

I got knocked out of my thought, Iowa starting a conversation with the girls sitting on the couch in front of us. I could feel the judgmental stares. Though I pay no mind to them.

"What about you Izoma?" I simply hum not hearing the question. He just laughs "oh Izoma your such an innocent person." He settles his hand on my thigh. I try to control the blood rushing to my cheeks, but somehow my cheeks flush. "Awe brother your blushing." Iowa coo's.

My face heats up more as he settles himself in my lap. I glance to the twins to see them slightly glaring. I gulp. "u-ugh... Iowa. You.." he cuts me off with a drawn out laugh. "what's wrong I'm just playing around." I look to my brothers clients to see them waiting to see what would happen next.

This is just an act... Look at how mad the twins are... Iowa seems like he's trying his best to fake this. He's probably disgusted with himself... Push him away.

But that's mean.

Are you happy?

Yes?..

Is he happy?

No.

Then?

Fine...

"I need to go." I quickly shove my brother off, not having the conscience to look him in the face. I couldn't.

I rush to get my backpack and run out of the room. I run as fast as I can, I run to a place that makes me feel safe. A place where I can let out all of my emotions.

The garden.

I run through the maze, the one thing blocking me from my safe place. Lucky for me I've memorized this maze, allowing me to get to the center in less then 10 minutes.

I let out a sigh of content. Seeing the blossom tree and the gorgeous flowers around the path. I walk to the tree, sitting back and lay against the tree in comfort.

I'm in complete peace. No stress or thoughts. Well... Just one thought. One that scared me. I realized that I'm turning out like someone. Someone I knew.

He was a boy who only thought about the bad, non of the good stuff. Then finally one day he broke and committed suicide... But that's because he had no one to talk to... Because I was here... but... To him..I guess I didn't count. To him I was just... There..

Then suddenly it's just me and silence.... I can almost fall asleep... But that's ruined.

"What are you doing here?" A voice spooks me. I shoot up and look around. I see two girls that are holding hands. "Well are you going to answer her?" The one with short hair almost yelled.

I flinch back slightly and her face softens. "I-Im just here to relax." I sigh and rub the sleep from my eyes.

"Well. While your here. Hi. My name's Lilly this is my girlfriend Sierra." She points to the girl with short hair and I wave.

"So what's up. You seem stressed." I laughed at how Lilly already knows me so well. "just stuff." She shakes her head and does a motion to Sierra.

They both end up on either side of me."what type of stuff?" Sierra asks. "Gay stuff." I snort. They smirk to each other and look to me and suddenly synchronized "spill"

I laugh.

Strangely I trusted these girls... Plus I really wanted to talk to someone... So I did. I told them everything.

From my childhood abuse to the love of my brother. And the strange thing was. They actually listened.

They gave me the best advice. Some which I will definitely use. I don't know how and I don't know why but I just found me two new friends.

THEY EVEN OFFERED ME A PLACE TO STAY IF MY BROTHER KICKED ME OUT.

O-Oh... I didn't tell you this part.. but we decided that I would tell my brother.. and his boyfriends. We will see what happens.

I'm just scared...

Because it is always me..

~~~~~~~~~~~

Word Count: 1033

A/n Guys I wrote! I got motivation and I'm even working an another fic, multiple. I've learned recently you can't give up because the good things are waiting til after the storm to come.

I lost everything, all my books and antique toys, even posters and literally all most everything (like except the few books I decided to bring with me.) But it's past that, I have a new bed, we are rebuilding and we have alot better things then we had before. It's wonderful.

I was headed towards depression but I helped myself by showing myself things get better. I have merch, and best of all I get to go see Dan and Phil in Interactive Introverts. I'm so happy, I'm so happy there is no way to be depressed.

So there was a moral to this information.

There is always a rainbow after the Storm.

It gets better trust me. Just wait and something amazing will happen.

I hope I don't sound to annoying I just thought it was a good example.. I'm going to copy and paste this into my other stories as well sooo..
Sorry.

Not sorry

Song: Migraine by TOP

~Bella